Blog Return?

I just wanted to announce that though we thought this blog would be over when Ashton graduated PC, it possibly isn't.  Because...(drum roll)...Ashton's working at PC this year!   Wahooo!  So for all of you hopeful readers, there is definitely a chance to catch a few more glimpses into life in the smyth lane from your favorite bloggers.

Graduation

To the faithful readers of Life in the Smyth Lane, here's a pic of me and my beautiful roomie Ashton at graduation in front of our beloved (or sometimes not so beloved) Smyth. 

As they say in show business, thanks for the memories.  Keep tabs with me and Ash on our new blogs.  Until then, may the Lord bless you and keep you.

me too!

check out my new blog: http://ashtonyount.blogspot.com

amanda's new blog

http://www.sutker.blogspot.com

grab bag

a few things worth noting:

1. amanda and i have been very proud of the fact that our blog inspired at least four other blogs. however, i am sad to report that none of these blogs have had a new post in over a month. one of them hasn't had a new post in more than four months! apparently, not everyone has as much to say as the residents of smyth 114.

2. i'm still trying to get a job for next year. if you have any connections in greenville, holla at me. i can use all the help i can get. hoping to start working the first week of june.

3. only 8 more days until graduation, and i'm spending them at the beach with some of my best friends! i'm hoping to return at least three shades darker.

4. my new (and solo) blog will make it's debut on may 9, so look out for the web address in the near future.

end of the semester

a few special things about the end of second semester:

• study breaks in GDH!  every exam week, PC's student government hosts nightly "study breaks" in the dining hall for us to get some breakfast food, participate in a few food fights, and jam to our favorite tunes.  i will admit i successfully participated in a couple of food fights tonight, going so far as to flick a few grits and some eggs.  though i hear the fight is on, as of now, there is no sight of retribution.
• moving out...so sad to see smyth 114 totally broken down.  ash's dad came this afternoon and our beds are in different rooms now.  i can't imagine living differently from how we did this year.  ash's and my room was so special--we went so far as to put our desks in the closets.  makes me sad to leave such a sweet roommate with so many memories, but excited for a fresh summer and new year as a JUNIOR (whoop!!)
• after i complete my exams I'll be headed to the beach!  not just 1 beach but 2!  the fertile myrtle for the first few days then hilton head for the second few days.  who could want more?
• once again I'll be going to the LP this summer!  Last summer was very challenging for me so I am apprehensive to get pumped for this summer, but I really am learning to trust God...that He can redeem my uneasy feelings and show me more of Himself for the 8 weeks I'm spending in Myrtle Beach this year.  I am praying that God will show me more rest, treasure, and joy in the Gospel this summer!
• thanks for being such faithful readers!  ash is moving out in 2 days :( but be on the lookout for links to our new blogs :).

Peace and Love!

Beauty

I can't begin to express the joy I feel when I pass bright pink and purple magnolia bushes on my way to Neville during the spring.  These flowers, somehow, lift an ungrateful, heavy spirit that accompanies me when my tired eyes can hardly stand to stay open for the last few classes of the semester.  I can't begin to express the joy I felt last Sunday, when after four stanzas of a beautiful, old hymn, the resounding sound of the organ stopped, and only the pure, worshipful chords of a congregation echoed throughout the church.  I can't begin to express the joy I feel daily from inexplicable, aesthetic gifts from a God who created beauty itself.

It's true; beauty, like all things, is created and defined by a perfect God whose mere words created the only world we know.  He not only heals and comforts our broken souls, but he does so with grace: a tender, sweet gift from which all human concept of beauty can never compare.

When God created the world in the first chapter of the Bible, He reflected on His creation and declared it good 6 times.  God's intentions for mankind's first pair was for the two to live forever in a blissful, beautiful garden.  And later, even when His created ones hurt him and His justness required for Him to punish them, even when generation after generation of Isrealites cursed the God who had delivered them from Egypt, He promised His grumbling people something better: a restoration of the same blissful, beautiful life initially enjoyed by Adam and Eve.

God manifested this beauty through Jesus Christ, a man who didn't just satisfy people's hunger or heal their disabled children, but gave them true life.  Yes, God declared, man had sinned.  Yes, God declared, because He is fair, they could not experience the same beauty from the garden without price.  But God's promise for restoration was so great that He did whatever He could for man to know Him again, even if it meant sacrificing a part of Himself.  And this perfect Christ, this promised Messiah, whose every action was the will of God, was scoffed by the very people He came to save.  He loved them anyway.  He died for them anyway.  That is a beauty I don't deserve to know.

There is a false beauty permeating the world.  Or at least girl world.  A beauty that claims that manufactured, made-over, underfed women are the closest glimpse of Eden we'll ever know.  A beauty that claims that our worth comes from a 4.0, athleticism, or the attention of men.  My friends, the beauty we are settling for is child's scribble instead of a Van Gough.  I would be lying if I said I sometimes didn't buy into this beauty myself.

But the grace of God changes people through Jesus.  "For the Lord comforts Zion.  He comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the Lord." (Is 51.3).  We don't have to strive for beauty.  We don't have to give up meals to manipulate our bodies; we don't have to give up sleep to receive a 4.0; we don't have to give up respect to get a boyfriend.  The greatest and only sacrifice needed for our satisfaction comes from God.  And it doesn't require any strife.  It comes freely.

"Come to me," Jesus whispers.  "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden; and I will give you rest."  (Matt 11.28)

In this rest, He changes our souls.    He even changes us to reflect some of the very beauty He reflects through Christ.  He transforms our visions from worldly beauty toward heavenly beauty.  We wait to see the fullness of this beauty.  But our hope is not in vain.  

Why? Because our God is not an imaginary friend.  The 66 books in the bible aren't fairy tales.  They are real, because Christ is real.  Christ died for a reason: to ransom us from our sin.  He lives now, too, because He has overcome Death.  Every day, Jesus, would your beauty be real in my heart...would you let me celebrate your beauty, not the world's beauty...would I be more overwhelmed by the beauty of Christ.

final projects

just thought i'd let you guys know what stands between me and graduation:

- attending one day of class
- writing a journal entry
- performing a 5 minute scene from a streetcar named desire
- composing a 2-3 page informal paper
- watching a movie

and then my collegiate career will be over. just like that. i'll keep you updated on the completion of these HUGE (catch my sarcasm) projects.

my girl janyce

it's ironic that just the other day i posted about having nothing to post about. and this is the second funny story in like four days. gotta love it.

anyway, last night my friend amy and i hung out with her boyfriend, keaton, his brother, kendall, and another friend, derek. kendall was in town for the night, so we thought it would be fun to give him a taste of college life. we played cards for a couple of hours and then decided we needed some snacks. bi-lo closes at midnight, so we loaded up in the spaceship (keaton's transport van from the late 80s/early 90s) and rushed to get there before they closed. we arrived at approximately 11:55 (plenty of time, right?!?), but unfortunately (and potentially unlawfully), they had already locked the doors. however, since i had already set my mind on having ice cream, we decided to trek to the wonderful 24 hour walmart in laurens. after browsing the grocery section of walmart for 15-20 minutes, we settled on our purchases (sunchips and 2 quarts of ice cream) and headed to the checkout station. as we were approaching the checkout lanes, i said, "i wonder if my girl dee is working tonight. if not, i know my girl janyce will be here. we have to go to one of their lines." everyone kind of laughed, but i don't think they realized how serious i was. as we walked closer, however, i noticed that both dee and janyce were working. since dee's line was longer, we chose to checkout with janyce. kendall surprised us by offering to buy all the snacks, so after we dumped everything on the conveyor belt, i walked over to say hi to janyce. the following is the conversation that ensued:

me: hey! how are you tonight?
janyce: i'm pretty good. how are you?
me: great!
janyce: you are extra happy tonight.
me: of course i'm happy! i'm getting ice cream!
janyce: well, where's your reese's cups? something wrong?
me: oh, no. i just figured since someone else was paying, i'd go light and just get the ice cream.
janyce: oh, ok. i knew something had to be up. you always get ice cream and reese's cups.
me: haha. yeah, i know.
janyce: alright, now. you take care.
me: have a good night!
janyce: you too. see you soon.
me: bye!

as we exited the store, the rest of the group seemed shocked that janyce knew what i always purchase. my explanation? "i told you she was my girl." :)

chasing boys

last night, upon exiting the library at approximately 2 am, my semi-normal life of the past month left, and the crazy, unpredictable, ridiculous, you-won't-believe-the-stuff-that-happens-to-me life came running back.

near the door to the library, there is a hand sanitizer dispenser. for all of you who know my friend walt, you know that he has this really strange obsession with hand sanitizer. so, as walt, chris, natalie, and i are leaving to make a mcd's run, walt fills his palm with foamy, yucky hand sanitizer. (if you've never seen walt's palms... they're huge. so i'm talking a LOT of hand sanitizer.) i don't really think much of it due to his previously mentioned obsession. and then, just as we are walking out the door, he smashes the hand sanitizer all over my face!

naturally, i am not a fan of this decision and immediately commence to fighting him. i only get one good hit in before he takes off running. so what do i do? chase him, of course. let me pause the story for a moment to mention that i was wearing a dress and sandals. with that said, back to the chase. walt is running all over campus - in the grass, around trees, on the sidewalk, around benches - and i am running behind him as fast as i can go in my totally inappropriate attire for the situation. i catch him a few times just long enough to get a hit or two in before he escapes again. well, just as i am really starting to tire him out and pick up the pace, he decides to dash across the lawn. let me remind you that it was 2 am and very dark. so what happened next? i step in a hole and fall!

that's right. you read correctly: i stepped in a hole and fell. and this was not just any fall. it was an all out nose dive, a complete and total face plant. luckily, no one was close enough to actually see what happened. i'm thankful since my dress definitely flew up over my head. i have scratches and bruises on my stomach to prove it. obviously, i did not walk away unscathed. in addition to the stomach injuries, i cut both knees, i have scratches all up and down my legs, both my palms are scratched, and i have cuts on a few of my fingers. i had to go inside, clean up, bandage my wounds, and change clothes before we could go to mcd's. honestly though, the worst part was how stupid i felt. a fall like that will really put one's pride in check.

i think walt felt bad about it, but i don't blame him. i should have remembered mom's advice from my elementary school days: chasing boys always causes trouble. i guess i still haven't learned my lesson. :)

ah!

so i realized today that amanda and i haven't posted in 10 days! i apologize for our inadvertent absence. i guess our lives have normalized because apparently we no longer have funny or interesting stories to share with you, our faithful readers. :(

in other news, graduation is drawing nearer. this ever-impending approach is bittersweet for me as it leads to the end of...

1. life in the smyth lane - as of may 8, amanda and i will no longer be sharing a blog. sad because we haven't received our book deal yet; happy because now you, blogfans, will have two blogs to read instead of just one!
2. smyth 114 - well, i guess the actual room will still exist, but the blissful roommate union of amanda and me will not. sad because i'll miss my sweet, silly, precious roommate; happy because i won't be living in a dorm anymore!
3. my college career - the last four years at pc have definitely been a roller coaster, and my ride ends soon. sad because i won't be able to have fridays free anymore or make 2 am trips to waffle house just because i feel like it; happy because pc's faculty will no longer have to deal with the slackest quattlebaum ever. (well, except for the girl who dropped out after her freshman year to go to cosmetology school.)
4. financial dependence - i will soon become responsible for all bills, payments, etc and relieve my parents of the burden they've been bearing for the last 21 years. sad because duh! i'll be financially independent; happy because... uh... i'll become more responsible?!?!

stay tuned for more info about my transition into the real world. it's gonna be one heck of a ride. you won't want to miss out. i feel like the funny stories are coming back to me soon. :)

another update

I recently failed to mention that today I also went #1 in a men's bathroom (scary I know, but no boys were there...PTL) AND my good friend Lauren Snyder and I will be living in a handicapped room next year=biggest room in Grotnes.  As Ashton has mentioned, Life in the Smyth Lane may very soon become a Dead End thanks to our moving out of Smyth 114 in less than a month.  Suggestions for future blog titles appreciated (although all parties acknowledge any future blog's inevitable failure to surpass our present one).

Peace!

Overheard in the Lib

As you know, followers, I spend a lot of my time in the library.  I've come to realize I actually enjoy the Thomason lib.  I must admit, the white noise of keyboard tapping and the exchange of classmates comforts me during the wee hours of the night I often spend here. 

A glimpse of a conversation I recently overheard:

Boy 1: "Do you know a way to search for every damn period in this paper and make it bigger"
Boy 2: "Make it bigger?  Why would you want to make a period bigger?"
Boy 1: "Size 16...perfect"
Boy 2:"What's your deal?
Boy 1: "Trying to make this damn paper longer"

Laughing so hard I might pee in my dress.

tweeting

blogfans, if you like what you read on our blog, i have good news: amanda and i both recently joined twitter. follow us to find out what we have to say in 140 characters or less. here are a few samples:

@amsutker
- using my psychology and special education textbooks to press flowers for my new art project. knew those things would come in handy somehow
- rachel carson is coming to pc for a cep. really? so in awe. i had a question about her on the ap us history exam in 11th grade. CRAZY!

@ashtonyount
- feeling pressured to make my first tweet funny. also, picked that st. mary's upset. my dad's gonna be so proud.
- me: i promise to never be a wife who makes her husband quit watching a sporting event. dad: u will be known as the greatest wife of all time

if you aren't on twitter yet, join in the fun today!

My post octogenarian-aged boyfriend

As some of you may know I have a 93 year old friend named Harold who lives at the Presbyterian Home, one of the many nursing homes in bustling Clinton, SC.  Last year I visited Harold about once a week through Student Volunteer Services, a program PC offers.  Although I signed up to once again visit Harold last semester, no one ever contacted me about details, so I forgot.  I have seen Harold a handful of times since coming back to school when my sorority makes visits, but not nearly as often as before.

Tuesday at 1:26 pm I received a call from a Clinton number on my cell phone.  The possibilities of who could be on the other line began to overwhelm me...there are, after all, so many famous people in Clinton who might solicit conversation with me.  I picked up the phone and heard a weary, old voice: "Amanda, I don't know if you remember me, but this is Harold."

After not seeing Harold regularly, he decided to hit me up!  Don't know exactly how he got my phone number (and to be honest, am quite disturbed by it), but enjoyed a good minute or two conversation with Harold before my German class.

I told Harold I had class at 1:30 and would call him back.  My phone died Wednesday so Thursday I decided to call Harold after lunch.  A brief description of our exchange:

Me (speaking very slow and loud): "Hi Harold!  This is Amanda."
Harold: "Well hey there Amanda!"
Me: "How are you doing?"
Harold: "Well the good news is I'm breathing.  Just got to start facing the reality that I'm old"
Me: "Sorry Harold"
Harold: "The real question is how are you!"
Me: "I'm doing good"
Harold: "How was your summer?" (keep in mind we had this conversation today, in March)
Me: "It was good Harold!  I spent the summer in Myrtle Beach."
Harold: "Well I sure haven't seen you in a while.  Every time I see those ZTA girls I look for you but never see you."
Me: "Maybe I can come visit you tomorrow?"
Harold: "You?  Visit me?  Tomorrow's Friday.  So Friday, the 18th..."
Me: "Yeah Harold!  Like maybe 2.30?"
Harold: "Tuesday?  Well let's see here...Tuesday's the 23"
Me: "What about tomorrow?"
Harold: "Tomorrow's Friday, Friday the 18th...what time?"
Me: "2:30"
Harold: "Tuesday?"
Me: "Tomorrow"
Harold: "Tomorrow's Friday, Friday the 18th...what time?"
Me: "3 pm?"
Harold: "Sounds great.  Just one more thing: you might want to bring a baseball bat."
Me: "A baseball bat?"
Harold: "A baseball bat or an umbrella"
Me: "Why?"
Harold: "Because I'm going to be so overwhelmed with affection that you might have to fight me away."
Me: "WHAT?"
Harold: "Yup, I mean it's going to be appropriate for public...nothing more than a kiss on the cheek"
Me: "Ok Harold.  See you tomorrow."

Fast forward to today.  All day, especially during lunch at GDH, I tried to sucker my friends into joining me on my venture to the Presbyterian Home, to no avail.  After a brief nap and no responses to my plea, I set forth on my way to the Presbyterian Home alone.  Thankfully Harold didn't kiss me on the cheek, but he did tell me we should get dinner together sometime.

Lord, you are so funny.  :)

grammatically speaking

as you know, blogfans, i am an english major. that also means i am a bit of a grammar nazi. okay, i admit, i'm more than a little bit concerned with grammar. i re-read emails four and five times to ensure correct punctuation and perfect word choice, i correct my friends and family (and sometimes strangers) if they use incorrect grammar, and i'd definitely place fourth in a pc grammar rules competition (right behind dr. brent, mrs. frey, and amanda).

because i pay so much attention to grammar, you can probably guess that grammar errors are one of my biggest pet peeves. as far as i'm concerned, there are absolutely no excuses for grammatical errors in any type of publication - novel, textbook, newspaper, magazine, website, or blog. of course, no one is perfect, so not even the best of copy editors can catch every error. however, i do try very hard to keep my blog posts error free.

i love blogs, and i read about ten of them regularly. however, one of these blogs irritates me because i can't tolerate someone who complains about grammar errors on a regular basis and yet has glaring errors of his or her own in almost every blogpost.

i realize that i may be sticking my foot in my mouth with this post, but it's all i could think of to write about, and amanda has been kicking my butt lately as far as posting goes. therefore, i apologize for any past, present, or future grammatical errors created by me.

roomie quote

ashton revealed yet another part of herself today as we were watching tv: "i have to admit, i do appreciate middle school boy humor"

Saturday mornings

When I was younger my family lived in a split-level house right off of I-77 in Columbia.  I count those preschool days as one of my most treasured memories.  These were the days when everything seemed new, and more questions entered my head than could possibly be answered by my parents, Reading Rainbow, or the infinite book collection that resided in my bedroom, from which my parents pulled nightly, reading until their voices became raspy or I drifted to sleep.

Saturday mornings were special, because they meant that my mom wouldn't be making the trek to drop my little brother and me off to preschool, or her to work at the hospital.  My brother and I would sleep until the light of the sunshine peeked through our blinds, waking us gently.  Then, I would yell "Mommy, Daddy, Mommy, Daddy, Mommmmy, Dadddddddy," gradually adjusting the loudness and intensity of my voice until my sweet parents would come to my rescue, sweep me out of my bed topped with a disney princess comforter, and carry me to their room.  For a few tender moments, all four members of my family would cuddle together on my parent's full-sized bed, until the squeeze forced one of us into such an uncomfortable position that we faced falling.

After this, we would venture downstairs and prepare to enjoy the special breakfast of Saturdays.  Some mornings it was pancakes, hobo eggs, or cheese toast.  We feasted on waffles for a while, until my mom grew angry with the waffle maker and the mess it made as the extra batter spilled onto the counters.  The kitchen in this house was substantially bigger than it should have been.  As my parents prepared breakfast, I explored the its vastness, opening and closing cabinets, finding out which were used for storage and which were empty.

We ate breakfast at a leisurely pace; my parents took time to read the paper and my brother and I took time to stop, gaze around the space, and take in the world that was still forming in our minds.  My favorite part of Saturday mornings came next, as my family would migrate the big room adjacent to the kitchen.  In this room were hardwood floors, a big, fancy rug, eventually a set of living room furniture, and the old piano my mom grew up learning how to play on.  My grandparents bought the piano for only $100.  Restored from the early 20th century, the piano wasn't the most exquisite you could imagine.  The keys were brown, a few pedals broken, and its body had experienced some wear and tear.  A piano tuner once spent hours lying on the floor, trying to adjust the tune of the old instrument, in the process finding a fork amidst the piano strings.

My brother, dad, and I would congregate around the piano with my mom front and center.  She sat on the old piano bench, preparing to tickle the ivories.  Sometimes my brother or I were lucky enough to sit beside her on the bench, marveled by the beauty of the way her fingers danced before our eyes.

She wet through the tattered, brown sheets of music on the music stand.  She warmed up to songs I can't remember, but her encore is one I will never forget.  As a 20 year old, hearing this song makes me smile, calms me, and leaves me craving for home.

Every Saturday morning as a family, my  dad, brother and I gathered around an old piano my mom played, dancing to music in our pajamas.  Like the way I am unworthy to know the greatness of God, we were unworthy to feel the magic of this music.  I currently recite the lyrics of this special song to myself, reflecting on the joy that this song gave me then and now.  I imagine my mom's fingers slowly mastering the chords, missing a few notes, and all of us singing along to a weird song that inevitably shaped my childhood.

A few moments ago, I found myself singing along: "Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine, I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him a-drink his wine.  Singin'... Joy to the world, all the boys and girls, joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, joy to you and me..."

I don't actually know what these words mean, but I could sing this song now the same way I could 15 years ago.  The beauty and simplicity of the music overcomes me the same way it did as a five year-old.

English Major Stereotypes

As we were finishing our ridiculously long homework assignment for Dr. Brent's Linguistics class, my good friend Kate Colwill and I made a list of stereotypical English majors in our class.  For your amusement and entertainment, my friends:
Parker- WHAT?  You're an English major?  Are you sure?
Allen- Typical English major, enriched by English major extracurriculars such as chess, drinking coffee, and having intellectual discussions with anyone who will lend an ear.
TJ- over-analytical English major; thus gets very confused by sentence structure of the American English vernacular.
Ahkeem-stuck in 90s English major.  love the combination of an acid-dyed denim jacket with a beanie, by the way.
Dr. Brent- My ideal day would be going to an Old English convention, watching every episode of Schoolhouse Rock, and diagramming sentences (I've never truly experienced pleasure until I discovered diagramming) English major.
Elizabeth- I love Xena and anime cartoons English major
Random girl with blonde hair and glasses who always answers questions correctly- you're not even an English major!  Why are you in linguistics?
Link- crazy English major
Robert- who would have thought you'd be an English major?
Tripp- Relatively cool English major.  Works in the writing center; tries, but the secret's between you and me.  examples: he always talks about Mrs. Frey, matches his clothes and plans his outfits two weeks in advance, brings his mac to class (but really checks facebook), reads CS Lewis in his spare time, and skips class often.

Kate and I like to think we're the normal English majors.  Best major ever.  Peace from the library at 2.52 am.

thrift store wonders

so after staying at a house decorated by empty windows hanging on the wall this past weekend, i was inspired to get a few for myself.  went to the thrift store with my good friend emily payne (payne, pane...get it??), and instead of finding a few panes...i found a beautiful, big, wooden frame to set off my new collage project.  pictures of the craft proj to follow soon.  

window panes are so out.  big giant brass frames are so in.  watch out martha stewart!

state of the campus address

as a campus resident I would just like to briefly comment on the state of the campus:
1) to the forces involved with the temperature, wind speed, and rain calendar of our campus, i must question your choice in the past few days' recent weather.  seriously?  yesterday I was burning up in a long-sleeve t-shirt.  today i put on sandals with a pair of jeans and felt the early pangs of hypothermia.  get your act together.
2) to my fellow students, where are you at 2 am on a tuesday night in the library?  words can not describe how disappointed i was to leave an empty james thomason lib after a psychology cram session.

peace!

collision on the bypass

This weekend I went to a missions conference at Mitchell Road Presbyterian Church in Greenville.  The theme of the conference was catch and release.  We explored the story of Jonah and the whale and marveled at the reality of the gospel...how God catches us, grabs our attention, call us to Himself, then releases us to be channels and messengers for His glory.

If you are an avid blog reader, you may remember that time in November or December when I accidentally drove into a creek.  As you may guess my driving skills are subpar...which is totally fine!  I love being the passenger.  But on Friday I needed to drive...so my friend Eowyn and I buckled our seatbelts and prepared for a journey that ended up more eventful than we could have even imagined.

Eowyn and I left from PC Friday around 4 or so.  Seeing as the interstate to Greenville is closed until August for construction, we took the bypass through Laurens/Grey Court/other small towns with names that sound like combinations of tired words and breed old-fashioned (or just old) southern families.

We made it through the relatively dense traffic of a Friday afternoon in Laurens.  As we proceeded on the two-lane, double-yellow road, the car driving behind me suddenly seems as if it's passing me.  Problem is, there is another car approaching it head-on.  I am only kind of freaking out...until I hear a boom that sounds like a gunshot.  By now I'm thinking how sketchy the situation is, and as I look to my left I notice both cars tumbling into the ditch.  Whoa.  Did that really just happen?

I turn around a few yards ahead, park on the side of the road, and Eowyn and I climb down to the grass between the fork in the road where both cars lie.  Noticeable dents mar both cars, tires are flown across the grass, and a bumper lies broken off of a car too.

Both drivers are confused, angry, and thankful for their lives.  No one was hurt at all...a miracle because this scene literally could have been in a movie.  Eowyn and I wait about a half hour longer and I give a report to the policeman, who records my name and some other info.  We continue the trip to Greenville with the most exciting part of our journey behind us, though we did encounter a few wrong turns along the way.

for our male readers

i would like to take a moment to give a shout-out to all the guys who read our blog. i can't speak for amanda, but i, for one, am certainly thankful for male blogfans. because of boy readers, i am able to post about college basketball and trust that someone will not only read it, but also understand it. check out this article about rushing the court.

oh, and if you're a girl who enjoys the article, you get major brownie points in my book.

virtual relief

virtual relief- discovering via facebook that your naiive, bushy-eyebrowed high school friend met tweezers in college

call me shallow, but i'm cheering homegirl on.  thankful that outward beauty isn't ALL that defines us.  but still grateful for fun things like makeup, nail polish, and tweezermans.

Blogfans it has come to my recent attention that there has not been a post in nearly a week.  So for your reading delight here's some morsels of my week...enjoy!

-I remembered the code to my bicycle lock and can now ride it any time I'm searching for a breeze through Clinton!  Thought I was going to have to cut that sucker off with a chainsaw, but God had other plans!
-I have made the recent resolution to drink my coffee black.  Why?  Because all tough and cool people drink their coffee black.  Still warming up to the idea but certain that the change will be in full swing soon...
-I have a newfound love for PotteryBarn and rekindled the dream I once had as an 11 year old to be an interior designer as a result of a shopping trip partaken by my mom, my grandmother (aka Nana), and me this Saturday.

That's all for now...peace in the middle east (pitme for those of you savvy enough to be familiar with such lingo)!

insulted

today, my fundamentals of acting professor asked me if i was a cheerleader in high school. apparently, my copious amounts of energy and silliness in acting class constitute cheerleader-esque behavior.

this washed-up, has-been of a high school athlete is too insulted for further comment.

Bebo Norman

As I was just working on a German assignment for class tomorrow, I was listening to Pandora, when I hear a song that's come up on my favorite Pandora station a few times recently.  I start to take in the words, and they sound pretty cool.  The song is called "Bring Me to Life" by Bebo Norman.  Never heard of the guy before, so I look him up on google.  His wikipedia article lists some cool info about Bebo, and as I glance to the bottom, I realize Bebo Norman graduated from PC!  Yup, that's right...never before have I read a Wikipedia article only to realize that the subject was a fellow graduate of my favorite institue of higher education in SC.  Pretty cool!

jawad and timmy

there was a period of time, when my parents first gave me a cell phone, that i would receive calls from people i didn't know. apparently, my phone number had belonged to jawad before it belonged to me. although i never spoke to the same person twice, the conversations always took a similar form:

me - hello?
random girl - who dis be? where jawad?
me - um, i'm sorry but i don't know anyone named jawad.
random girl - hoe, don't try to play me!
me - uh...huh?
random girl - okay dat's fine. be dat way. but you tell jawad that if gonna cheat on me, he betta tell me to my face.
me - um, seriously, i think you have the wrong number.
random girl - i don't need this sh--.

and then the call would be over. at first, i was just shocked, but after three or four calls like this one, it got to be a huge joke with my friends and family. i don't know if any of those girls heard from jawad again or if they just got tired of trying to locate him, but either way, the phone calls ceased after a few months.

since then, i haven't had any calls like that... mainly because i've become a champ at screening calls and i almost never answer a number i don't know. apparently my superior screening abilities don't stop everyone.

last night, at 5:30am, a number i did not recognize called me. i was sound asleep, so the call woke me up. and let's be serious, unless it was a call from one of my parents, there was no way i was talking to anyone that early in the morning. so i just rolled over and went back to sleep. when i actually woke up this morning around 11am, i noticed i had two missed calls and a voicemail. obviously, i don't wake up to that every morning... or any morning. the unknown number had also called at 4:45am, but i guess that time it didn't wake me up. i decided to listen to the voicemail mostly out of curiosity. this is what i heard:

girl's voice - "hey so you all up on my man timmy's phone and sh--, and so i need you to return my call and let me know what the fu-- is going on."

i don't know who timmy is. or what it means that i am "all up on" his phone. but i do know that i definitely won't be returning this girl's call.

food for thought

not sure if you are aware of this, readers, but i-385 is currently under construction, causing greenville to no longer be directly accessible from clinton. this means that we clintonites are now completely isolated from real life. just kidding... well, kind of. we definitely have to work a lot harder to visit those coveted locations not available in clinton: target, moe's, marble slab, miyabi, the movie theater, etc.

brittni and i LOVE moe's and marble slab. over the course of the last few years, we have made many a trip to enjoy good food and good fellowship. moe's dates, as we call these trips, are kind of our thing. i would say, on average, we probably go at least bi-weekly. this semester has been a little different, however, because brittni is student teaching, and it's lacrosse season. (this means she has ZERO free time.)

anyway, yesterday we were thinking about going on a moe's date before the super bowl. and, because i'm the organized one who does the planning, i was in charge of getting directions to the moe's and the marble slab in spartanburg. (since the current state of i-385 prevents us from going to our usual moe's.)

as i searched mapquest for the directions, i noticed a new feature on the website. when you type in a public location (rather than a residential address), mapquest now offers similar locations you may want to check out.

similar locations listed for moe's: krispy kreme and baskin-robbins.

i mentioned this experience to amanda last night and commented that i wasn't sure what criteria constituted krispy kreme and baskin-robbins as similar to moe's. she seemed much less concerned than i felt and simply responded with: "um... they're all REALLY GOOD!"

Long Way Home

This past Saturday I drove home for the day to visit with my brother and parents and also hang out with my Aunts, Uncle, and cousins who came by for supper.  My mom made some delicious baked spaghetti (def one of my favs!) and we all played scrabble and taboo.  I also beat my brother in Wii Resort 3-point shootoff (who says I'm not good at basketball!), and my dad and I showed off some sweet dance moves.

I drove back Saturday night so that I could make it to Sunday school and church on Sunday.  My parents get very nervous about me driving at night, so my mom made me promise to call her as soon as I got back to school.  (It's about 50 minutes from my house to PC.)  As I was pulling out of the driveway, my mom noticed that my front left tire was looking kind of low.  My dad followed me to a gas station right off the interstate in Chapin and filled up my tires with more air.

I actually enjoy driving...believe it or not...as long as the conditions are not excessively stressful.  (Driving in Harbison during Christmas...def not my fav).  My mom called me about an hour after I left the house, nervous because I hadn't called her yet.  Forgetting that my dad had to fill up my tires with air, and that my cell phone has a hole and is connected to my keychain (if you haven't seen my new phone I will show it to you because it is SUPER cool), which was in the ignition because my car key is also on my keychain, my mom called me right about the time I got to Newberry.  I couldn't ignore the ferocious vibration of my phone, so I pulled over at the next exit to call my mom back.  I made it to PC, called my parents, and everything turned out alright...but stopping off the interstate reminded me of one journey I made home last Spring.

It was the second semester of my freshman year at PC.  I decided to go home for the weekend.  I also was in a very adventurous stage of my life (I would describe myself as adventurous in general though some may disagree), and went off of an initial gut instinct to drive to Irmo without taking the interstate.  Naturally, I got directions from Mapquest, packed a totebag for the weekend, and got ready to leave.  I lived across the hall from a very cool, artsy girl named Caroline.  She roomed with my best friend at the time, and I visited her room often.  Caroline loved to drink hot tea.  I aspired to be as cool as Caroline, so I started drinking hot tea too.  Knowing I needed a drink to make it back, I figured what better to take with me than hot tea?  I got a giant thermos, nuked some H2O, and put 2 teabags in the water considering the sizeable amount of tea I was preparing to consume.

The ride home along the backroads of SC proved to be an interesting one.  I passed through downtown Union, noticed a state forest, and got lost only about 2 times.  About the time I crossed the interstate leaving Clinton, I realized I had to use the bathroom...number 1.  I figured I could hold it for an hour until I made it home.  Not recognizing that the drive home down the backroads would take longer than the drive home on the interstate, or that I drank about 30 ounces of hot tea, I later cursed myself for my stupidity!

Somewhere between Pomaria and White Rock (didn't know those existed?  neither did your average South Carolinian...), I had to go so badly that I thought I would explode.  If a hospital was nearby, I would have definitely checked myself in because I had to PEE to the extent that it was a medical issue.  I was in pain.  But smartie pants decided to take the back way and the only possible toilets nearby were inside some country-bumpkin churches or residential homes!  What to do, what to do, not even a gas station in sight!

Finally I saw a sign for a restaurant.  I turned down a little road, drove for about 2 miles, praying that there would be a bathroom I could visit, and pulled into a gravel parking lot of a small local restaurant.  I can't remember the name of the restaurant, but it was built from logs and had a carved sign that stood barely off the edge of the road.  There was only 1 other car in the parking lot.  I left my car, locked my door, and walked (if you want to call it that... really I was hunched over, my knees together, skipping/running) towards the restaurant.  Thankfully, the restaurant was unlocked.

Inside, the lights were dim.  I noticed unfinished floors, big wooden booths, a stage in the corner, a register near the door, unlit neon beer signs, and one lone old man sitting in the first booth, pen in hand, finishing some paperwork.

"Canipleaseuseyourbathroom???" I cried/pleaded?

Not thinking of the safety of the situation, I ran to the back of the room, and powdered my nose so to speak.  Well...I definitely felt A LOT better.  As I exited the bathroom, I explained my situation to the man (I was on my way home from Clinton, decided to take the back roads, had to use the bathroom REALLY badly) and made my merry way back to the car.

It was only about another 15 miles until I made it home, but after I told my mom the story she made me promise never to take that route home again.  Needless to say, there are definitely some memorable journeys back and forth between PC and home.

Super Binder Sunday

Unlike many Americans, instead of spending yesterday with friends watching the Super Bowl, overanalyzing commercials, and pigging out on snack foods, I rested, reorganized class notes, and made a schedule for the week.

During this time of regrouping yesterday, I realized that the 1-inch binder I bought from Fred's last week wasn't going to cut it for all of my class handouts.  I decided to visit Wal-mart and pick up a 2- or 3- inch binder to satisfy my organizational needs.

Finding a partner to go to Wal-mart with me wasn't easy.  It was, after all, Super Bowl Sunday, and a lot of my friends were hanging out together.  After a few failed attempts to sucker someone into joining me on my trip, I decided to brave the 15 minute commute to Wal-mart and the binder quest all alone.

Initially, I was a little fearful about going to Wal-mart (in Laurens, nonetheless) at night by myself.  As I pulled into the gigantic parking lot many thoughts were playing through my mind.  Would I be abducted?  Sold into slavery?  Stuck in the trunk of some psychopath's car with duct tape binding my mouth shut?

Ok...well as I parked and walked into Wal-mart I only noticed women exiting the store.  Beginning to feel relieved at the sight of a feeble, hunched-over, 80- or 90- year old woman walking to her car, I fiercely entered the Wal, so confident that I even greeted the employees near the door.

After briefly examining some flowers at the front of the store that were on display for Valentine's day, I made my way to the school supply section.  I picked up a 2-inch white binder (Wal-mart has a very disappointing binder section, just for the record), checked out the arts and crafts aisle, and the book aisle, and found myself next perusing the music/dvd section of the store.  (Sometimes you can find CDs or DVDs for only $5...what a steal!)

As I was looking at all of the crappy DVDs, I heard a buggy pulling up behind me.  No big deal.  Then a voice..."Well Hello there, how are you doing??"  Ok...no big deal.  I turned around to find a stranger talking to me!!  Next I take myself back to elementary school...all those reminders to never speak to strangers.  I make up some quick, average response "Finethankyouhowareyou" and steer myself to the next aisle.  Then, all of a sudden, creeper follows me there too!!

ONE OF MY GREATEST FEARS BEGINS TO COME TRUE!! AHH!!

Suddenly, a $5 CD becomes my last priority.  I walk briskly to the checkout, subtly peering over my shoulder every few nanoseconds to verify that I'm not being stalked.  I go to the 20 item or less checkout, pay in cash, and my 2-inch binder and I make a quick run to the car.  I press the unlock key on keychain, praying that it will actually work because oftentimes it malfunctions, get in the car, lock the doors again, and in colloquial terms...put the pedal to the metal!!  As I try to decide whether or not to take a secret route (that I haven't even yet discovered) back to Clinton in order to lose my stalker, I check my rear view mirror only to realize that nobody's behind me.  I'm safe.

As I retold this story to Ash in bed last night, we both giggled at how silly I was.  Then she asked me what time I went to Wal-Mart...I told her it was around 8 pm.  She started laughing profusely and said that should be the punchline of the story.  And so followers...there you have it.

just a little summary of what my day is like:

• being reminded of the gospel in john 3...that god really loved us first...he sacrificed his son for our sake in order to satisfy his wrath...he is jealous for our affections and will go to any price to win them!  his sacrifice is good and he is good!  he is the only one who knows true tolerance, true diversity, because his covenant of eternal life extends to WHOEVER believes!! ahh gets me so excited :)
• english major scrabble at 2:30.  i love scrab!!
• dear john, the day it comes out, a little later with some wonderful girls! :)
• possible chickfila encounter?
• and duh...dp at the cob=dance party at the campus outreach building.  

really?? what a fabulous day!  so thankful for fun days like this.

village cup

i am in love with the village cup. it is the cutest coffee shop/cafe i've ever seen.

picture this: two really comfy, warm, cute sitting areas that bookend a section of tables. awesome food (including wheat free sandwiches!) and great coffee drinks. free wireless internet. local artwork displayed all over the walls. dim lighting. fire place.

basically, it's the perfect place to spend an afternoon alone or with a few friends. the owners are locals, and they love what they do. and i've heard that they've been known to give free stuff to regulars. : )

readers, if you reside in the clinton/laurens area, you should totally check out the village cup. you will love it too!

oh, and ps: this post comes live from the most comfortable chair in the whole world... which just so happens to be located right next to the fireplace in the village cup.

learning connections

recently I have discovered that I subconsciously apply specific methods of learning to various elements of my lifestyle.

a few examples:

in my special education class we learned how to write reflections by answering the questions what?, so what?, now what?, as a way to apply what we're learning to our future classrooms.  instead, i now sometimes study verses of the bible this way during my time with God.

in campus outreach we learned how to have a "first generation" mindset when meeting new people and planning for events and stuff on campus.  basically, this just means to not do things the way they've always been done just because that's the way it's always been; but instead, to plan things and hang out with people in a way that's never been done before.  for my position in zeta, i have to plan bid day and the new member program for next fall.  i met with a girl who's helping me this week and tried to explain to her that i wanted to have a first generation mindset about bid day this year, but i'm not so sure if she understood.

not so sure if these things i'm learning were meant to be applied in different ways, but i'm definitely learning a lot!

My mom

Talked to my mom last night.  Shared with her some info from the last blog post.  Asked for a little insight about this summer:

Me: "So Mom, what do you think I should do this summer?  Do you think it would be good for me to work at a summer camp?"

Mom: "Well, you did always love Bug Juice."

I love my mom!

Recruiters camp out in Springs

For all of you faithful followers (shoutout to ward!!) who are aware of the time Ash and I finally went to sleep last night (3 AM) as a result of the last blogpost (read it.  ASAP.), it may amuse you to discover that I had a 9 am class today.  Not only did I make it to the said class, whose topic just so happened to be Linguistics, but I made it to said class in pin attire!  Praise be to God for that one because I woke up at 8:41 am and am definitely not skilled in the getting ready fast department.

Naturally, my body ached for caffeine after said class.  My first choice, of course, was some coffee from Springs.  12 ounces of java, a little skim milk, and 4 Splendas did the trick.  Along with an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich and a little time with the Lord studying John 3, I had all of the energy I needed to bounce back from this obvious sleep deficit.

As I'm exiting Springs, I notice several tables set up with information about summer camps.  Recruiters were in our student center offering information about their various camps.  Being the kind and indecisive self that I am (believe it or not...I have no idea what God has for me this summer), I decided to grab a few applications from the recruiters.

Slight problem: just grabbing a few applications from camp counselor recruiters is actually impossible.  Why?  Because you can't just grab an application, you also must provide very specific information about yourself.  Such as?  Who are you?  Where are you from?  What are you looking for this summer?  Why did you choose PC?  And what do students like you actually do on the weekends here?

In a jumbled, confusing, and most likely incoherent manner I answered: Amanda Sutker.  Irmo, South Carolina.  English Major.  Secondary Education Minor.  I want to learn more about God this summer, and maybe more about myself too.  I have no clue how I ended up here, but I love it.  And on the weekends, I go to mixers with my sorority, drive to Greenville to shop, watch a movie, or eat ice cream, and on special occasion, I am able to overhear the great pranks that occur, including those involving crab legs.

After talking to representatives from Camp Burnt Gin, Camp Kanuga, Camp Thunderbird, Camp Greenville, Camp Grier, and Camp Buc, I've almost got this routine nailed.  Some of the representatives are a little awkward and over-smily.  Some of them heard me talk and just got quiet, suggesting that perhaps their camp wasn't best suited for someone not akin to hiking with no other outdoors experience.  And some of them were fun, engaging, and personable.  Honestly, I had a blast.

At the end of each visit, the recruiters asked me to sign my name and email address on a list of interested applicants.  When I signed the lists, I was the first and only interested applicant on every paper.  Inevitably, this action tugged on my heart and made me feel a little sad for the recruiters, who now knew so much about me and shared a lot about themselves, and why they loved camp as well.

Anyways...I think I have a new perspective on summer camps now.  Who knows where I'll be this summer, but I'm definitely sending in a few applications the next few weeks.  I also visited Springs after our CEP to grab lunch.  Upon leaving, I smiled and waved to the recruiters.  I didn't check to see if they had any more interested applicants yet, but they all acknowledged me too, some of the guys doing the weird man head nod, the old awkward guy telling me goodbye by name.  If I gained nothing else, at least I now have a few new friends :).

if professors were greek

last night, amanda and i, snug in our side-by-side twin beds, talked until 3 am...

- guessing which fraternity or sorority each member of the pc faculty would be in if professors were greek. (personal fav: dr. barr - alpha sig)

- guessing which fraternity or sorority our non-greek friends would be in if they had ever rushed. (personal fav: paul klein - pike)

- laughing about how every time we think we have one of the boys figured out, they do something ridiculously surprising. (personal fav: parker young - found in a study room in the library yesterday... by himself)

- musing about the inner-workings of boy world and wondering if it's anything like girl world. (personal fav: if two boys like the same girl, how do they handle the situation?)

granted, everything is funnier late at night, but i feel pretty confident these thoughts are worth a good laugh any time of day. :)

so, upon checking the latest news as i woke up this morning, i found that apple is releasing something called an "ipad," a kindle-like device that allows users to read novels among many other functions.

wish i could have time to elaborate, but i'll just say that no matter how advanced technology becomes, i don't think reading anything via plastic screen can match up to the way a hardback feels, how thick ivory paper looks, or what sitting in a bookstore or library means.

on another note, to go to my 9 am psychology class to take my first skip of the semester?  hmm...

Before this post really gets started, I have to wonder: is there anyone who still reads Life in the Smyth Lane besides my dad (who may, in actuality, be our most faithful and devout reader)?  Ever since we aquired our goal of 25 readers by Christmas, there have been few new followers.  Thanks to all of you readers who, like my Daddio, tune in for every episode of Life in the Smyth Lane.  And if you're a secret reader (I know a few of you must exist), we'd love to have you become an official follower!

This semester I am taking a class called Education for the Exceptional Learner, aka, Special Education.  Since I decided the week before exams to minor in Secondary Education, I had to make a few adjustments to the sched.  Hence psychology (ick!) and special ed this semester.  Although it has been my only class in the education department so far, I have really enjoyed special education.  My teacher, Dr. G* (I didn't put her real name because I thought that would be mean and fear that she will google her own name, stumble over Life in the Smyth Lane, and fail me for the semester) is very organized, has a passion for people, and loves to chat.

Dr. G went to PC in the seventies and has lived and taught around Clinton for most of her life since (whoa!!).  She is single, an adjuct professor at PC, and also works part time for a center in Clinton that provides mentally-handicapped adults with jobs.  She is awesome at what she does and incredibly patient with the adults with whom she works.  She hands back every paper or assignment within the next class period.  She is training us to be teachers who are attentive to each student's learning needs.

I can only think of wonderful things to say about Dr. G, but today I realized that a huge fear of mine is that I will become a woman like her!  Incredibly passionate about her job, able to impact her community, and overall satisfied without a family or husband.  Take what I know of Dr. G's life, throw in a few cats, maybe a book club or two and I find myself already cringing at the chance that this image could very well be my future!

I am learning to be content in every situation...wherever God has me.  And I don't have to worry about the future yet.  He who provides enough grace for me to dwell with him today will be faithful til tomorrow.

hugs

i LOVE hugs. they are one of my favorite things. i thoroughly enjoy greeting with (or being greeted by) a hug. and when i say hug, i don't mean one of those half-hearted, lame, limp side hugs. i mean a full-frontal, tight-squeeze, you-won't-soon-forget-it hug.

however, i haven't always loved hugs. you can ask my mom if you don't believe me. there was a stretch of my life where i didn't want anyone to touch me - ever, at all. but i am a much more loving person than i used to be.

these days, i feel like i have to make up for lost time by hugging as much as possible. oh, and i like to make as big of a production as possible out of hugging. i think that's why people like my hugs so much... they're just more than you're used to.

here's the real point of this post: tonight, i discovered something about my hugs that i didn't know. my friend kathleen informed me that i make a little noise, a squeal if you will, every time i hug someone. and guess what? she's right! after her observation, i noticed myself squealing each time i hugged someone the rest of the night.

i guess you could say i'm a little weird. (and you'd have a valid point.) but i think the bottom-line is that i just want people to know how much i care about them. and for me, nothing in this world - not time, or gifts, or service, or words - can express love better than a well-executed hug. : )

plan c

interesting fact about me: i am allergic to wheat, tomatoes, and msg.

because of my allergies, i have a somewhat non-traditional doctor - an applied kinesiologist. what is an applied kinesiologist? well, friends, that explanation needs a post all to itself, and since it isn't really the point of this story, i'm going to leave it a mystery for now. : )

today, while at my check-up with dr. parnell, he and i had the following conversation:

dr. p: so, do you have post-grad plans yet?
me: well, i'd like to live in greenville, and my parents still have some connections there, so i'm hoping to get a job writing for a newspaper or in event planning.
dr. p: hmm...have you thought about grad school?
me: uh, no way. grad school is not an option. plan a is event planning. plan b is a newspaper. it'll be fine. everything will work out.
dr. p: what's plan c? get married?
me: uh....... i guess so.
dr. p: i think you should go with plan c. maybe bump it up to plan a.

thanks, doc. just what i wanted to hear.

??

i have been informed by the authorities (aka my roomie ashton) that it is my turn to blog.  here's a little update on my semester, friends!

• my classes are interesting, albeit boring.  a personal fav is special education.  why, you ask?  the professor is organized, loves teaching, and told all of us on the first day of class that we'd get an A.  also gotta love linguistics.  i enjoy grammar because i had great teachers in middle school who really stressed learning how to diagram and analyze sentence structure.  linguistics is supposed to be a difficult class, but it's starting off slowly for me so far.  we'll see how that goes!
• god is really teaching me a lot about resting!  and i am learning how to rest in so many ways.  a lot of times when i think about resting i just want to take a nap, but i am exploring new methods of relaxation.  for example, yesterday lindsay mayo and i explored antique stores in downtown clinton.  expecting to find a great bargain, we left with only a memorable experience (but all of our $$ intact too!).  i have just really felt convicted lately that god deserves me when i am at my best, not when i'm exhausted and my eyelids are drooping!  it is more important for me to love him and know him better than it is for me to make good grades, hangout with people, or try to save the world.
• community always feels different to me second semester.  the lord is using other people in my life to encourage me and lead me to knowing more of him.  the BJC met last night (holla!!) and we watched both bridgette jones movies, consumed oodles of peanut butter m&ms, sour gummy worms, and sparkling grape juice.  i am constantly reminded of a beautiful verse i memorized last week..."what shall i render to the lord for all his benefits to me?  i will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the lord."  i am really loving where he has me right now!

i am trying to dig through the crevices of my mind to reveal some exciting, silly, or fun story right now to no avail.  but they'll be on the way soon.  love yall!

breaking news: part 2

my brother, ward, is a senior in high school this year, and he also happens to be the student body president. today, his principal approached him about his class schedule for this semester and said, "ward, i really think you ought to be setting an example for the students and taking more classes and challenging yourself more."

apparently being a joke is hereditary.

breaking news

in case you didn't know, amanda and i both work as tutors in the writing center on campus.

yesterday, upon hearing my class schedule for this semester, my boss tilted her head to the side, gazed intently at me with a look of pure astonishment, and said, "ashton, i just can't understand why you aren't taking more serious courses."

yep, that's right: i'm a joke. you heard it here first.

SparkTests

As if text summaries weren't enough, here's another reason why Sparknotes is the greatest resource ever.  Recently laughed my way through an online quiz...here are a few of the funniest Qs:


14 Which statement most closely resembles your philosophy on dating?

 There's more fish in the sea

 There are more fish in the sea

 The sea is polluted

 I hate the smell of fish

23 Have you ever faked a British accent?

 Yes

 Nay, you codswalloping stinker!

these are so HILARIOUS.  i am STILL laughing OUT LOUD!

pre-function craziness

for those of you who don't know, amanda is a member of zeta tau alpha, one of pc's three sororities. tonight was zeta's semi-formal. any sorority function always involves a little pre-event drama, but tonight was especially hectic. the following is the saga that enfolded this afternoon:

1:30pm - mo comes over to our room for a visit and informs amanda and i that she, alicia, brittni, and mel (and their dates) are going out to dinner with the zetas before the function. note: none of them are zetas.

mel and brittni both have boyfriends, so obviously, they don't have date issues. however, alicia and mo both have to find dates. apparently, alicia's date search is easy. mo's, on the other hand, is quite eventful. first, mo asks brinck. he gladly agrees, but later informs her that he forgot about a prior commitment and can no longer go. in his place, he offers clay, and mo agrees.

2:00pm - amanda's zeta little sister, christy, calls to say that her date canceled on her the night before, and she doesn't know what to do. we offer to find her a date because we have so many wonderful guy friends. as mo, amanda, and i discuss who should go with christy, it hits us that clay would be the perfect date. mo decides that christy needs a date more than she does, so we text clay to find out if he's down with the change of plans. with no hesitation, clay agrees. we help him decide what to wear, and then we move to tackling the new problem: mo's date.

2:30pm - mo and amanda decide that i should be mo's date. although i am not so sure about this plan, they make me try on one of amanda's dresses. unfortunately, friends, i just wasn't into the idea. amanda and i debate back and forth for about ten minutes, but it is finally decided that i won't go. mo prepares to text spencer to ask him to be her date, but uh-oh i have a realization. what if clay thinks mo passed him off on christy because she didn't want him to be her date? we can't have that, so we decide mo can't ask anyone else and has to go alone.

3:15pm - mo heads back to her room since everyone is supposed to be ready in an hour.

3:45pm - i check my phone and see that i have a missed call from sam (who also happens to be brittni's boyfriend). unsure why sam has called me, i return his call. here is the conversation that ensued:
s - hello?
a - hey sam. did you call me?
s - oh yeah, but i didn't mean to. that's why i hung up really quick.
a - oh, well that explains why i didn't hear my phone ring.
s - so.... what's up?
a - uh... just sitting in my room helping amanda get ready.
s - oh cool. yeah, clay's freaking out about what to wear.
a - why? we told him what to wear.
s - yeah, but he says he doesn't have any of those clothes. but it's okay because james is letting him borrow some clothes.
a - oh, well, that's good.
s - hey... so... what is mo doing? wasn't clay supposed to be her date?
a - okay, sam, here's the truth. we decided that clay would be the perfect date for christy, so mo was going to ask someone else. but then we thought it might hurt clay's feelings because it might look like mo didn't want to go with him. so we told her she has to go by herself.
s - oh... well, we can fix that. james is moping around because he wants to go and no one asked him.
a - tell james to call mo! that would be great!
s - okay... hey, well since we're telling the truth... i did call you, but then i thought that since you aren't going, it might hurt your feelings to talk about it, so i hung up really fast.
a - (as i'm laughing hysterically) oh, it's totally okay, i don't want to go. just tell james to call mo.
s - glad this is funny to you... okay, i'll tell james.
a - (still laughing hysterically) great. bye sam.
s - see ya.

4:00pm - james texts mo to say that he would be glad to go with her if she wants. mo is busy getting ready and forgets to text him back.

4:15pm - amanda's date arrives to pick her up. she isn't quite ready yet so that provides a bit of awkwardness. once she's ready, she and her date decide that he might be a bit under dressed, also providing a bit of awkwardness. the two of them hurry to his room to pick out a new outfit.

4:20pm - sam has to call james and tell him that he is supposed to go with mo. james gets ready super fast and picks mo up.

4:30pm - everyone finally meets up with their dates and heads to the restaurant.

6:00pm - i get to tell the story to ally, ellen, rachel, emily, and natalie. they love it!

although the pre-party drama may have been a bit stressful for all those involved, i am sure dinner and dancing will be so fun and so worth it.

and regardless, i got a TON of laughs out of the day, so... yep, definitely worth it.

slap chop

tonight, as my brother, my dad, and i watched our beloved unc tarheels lose to the college of charleston, i realized something: infomercials are constantly solving problems i didn't know i had. here are a few examples:

www.getsnuggie.com
never before the invention of the snuggie was i aware that i could ever be cold enough to need a blanket with sleeves. won't a sweatshirt suffice?

www.perfectbrownie.com
who knew that using a knife to cut brownies after baking them was so imperfect and inconvenient? i had no idea i needed someone to invent a better way to make brownies.

www.thetower200.com
until i watched this infomercial about the newest workout system from body by jake, i thought i was in decent shape. then i saw the extraordinary ripped-ness of the man modeling the 11 minute workout program. guess i need to work out more, huh?

www.slapchop.com
according to the slap chop salesman, not only will i save money at the ice cream store, save time in the morning before work, and spice up my salads, but i will also no longer have a boring life if i start using the slap chop instead of a regular knife.

talk about solving all my problems with only a few small payments of $19.95.