beef soup

i have terrible eyesight. i thought a few examples from tuesday might provide a bit of amusement.

at my eye appointment, the nurse took my glasses from me and then asked me to read the letters on the eye chart. seriously, lady? that's why i wear glasses... because i can't read those letters. she kept going to a bigger line and saying, "now can you read them?" when we finally got to the top of the chart, i said, "well, i know it's supposed to be a really big e." and she said, "yes, but can you see it?" and i said, "nope." that's why i'm here trying to get surgery actually.

a little later in the eye appointment, the nurse decided to dilate my eyes. she told me that it would be stronger than normal and that my eyes would be sensitive to light and that i would probably have difficulty seeing for at least eight hours. apparently, i didn't pay much attention to this information because when i tried to look at my phone on the way home, i couldn't figure out why i couldn't read anything on the screen. i kept holding my phone at different angles until my dad finally said, "do you need some help with that?"

because of my dilated pupils, or crazy eyes as i affectionately referred to them, i couldn't put my contacts in for the rest of the day. however, we were having family pictures taken, and i didn't want to wear my glasses in the pictures. i developed a brilliant plan: just take off my glasses while the pictures were being taken. that sounds like a good plan, right?! wrong! at one point, while we were being re-posed, the photographer (who also happens to be a family friend) asked me a question. because she was looking at me, she didn't see a need to use my name. because i couldn't see her, i didn't know she was talking to me and continued to stare in her general direction without answering. fortunately, my brother elbowed me, and i managed to save the day with, "oh, you were talking to me? i can't see a thing without my glasses." or with them, apparently.

after the pictures, my family picked up take-out from our favorite asian restaurant. once home, we were all fixing our plates and heading to the table. even though i was wearing my glasses again, i still couldn't really see. i walked over to where my sister was dishing beef soup from the container into a bowl. as i watched her, i said, "claire, why are you taking all the mushrooms?" and she said, "ash, that's beef. that's why they call it beef soup."

thank goodness for lasik surgery in may.