jawad and timmy

there was a period of time, when my parents first gave me a cell phone, that i would receive calls from people i didn't know. apparently, my phone number had belonged to jawad before it belonged to me. although i never spoke to the same person twice, the conversations always took a similar form:

me - hello?
random girl - who dis be? where jawad?
me - um, i'm sorry but i don't know anyone named jawad.
random girl - hoe, don't try to play me!
me - uh...huh?
random girl - okay dat's fine. be dat way. but you tell jawad that if gonna cheat on me, he betta tell me to my face.
me - um, seriously, i think you have the wrong number.
random girl - i don't need this sh--.

and then the call would be over. at first, i was just shocked, but after three or four calls like this one, it got to be a huge joke with my friends and family. i don't know if any of those girls heard from jawad again or if they just got tired of trying to locate him, but either way, the phone calls ceased after a few months.

since then, i haven't had any calls like that... mainly because i've become a champ at screening calls and i almost never answer a number i don't know. apparently my superior screening abilities don't stop everyone.

last night, at 5:30am, a number i did not recognize called me. i was sound asleep, so the call woke me up. and let's be serious, unless it was a call from one of my parents, there was no way i was talking to anyone that early in the morning. so i just rolled over and went back to sleep. when i actually woke up this morning around 11am, i noticed i had two missed calls and a voicemail. obviously, i don't wake up to that every morning... or any morning. the unknown number had also called at 4:45am, but i guess that time it didn't wake me up. i decided to listen to the voicemail mostly out of curiosity. this is what i heard:

girl's voice - "hey so you all up on my man timmy's phone and sh--, and so i need you to return my call and let me know what the fu-- is going on."

i don't know who timmy is. or what it means that i am "all up on" his phone. but i do know that i definitely won't be returning this girl's call.