fitting room fiasco

As I have previously mentioned, I have worked on and off at the limited since my senior year in high school. Today is one of my last days at the limited for the year.  (I may or may not work there over the month of may, depending on whether or not my parents agree to let me go to south africa.)  Anyways, as soon as I came into work at 3 today I started working on the "go-backs".  go-backs are all of the clothes customers try on in the fitting rooms but decide not to purchase.

shortly after i began putting the go-backs away, my manager, debbie, asked if i would work the fitting rooms.  basically, this job entails putting the clothes in the room for the customers and getting additional items at their request.

today was an especially busy day at the limited.  many customers sought to take advantage of a substantial sale.  by the time i went to work the fitting rooms, about five or six women were standing in line to receive a room.

a few "excuse me"s later, i made my way to the fitting room.  i knocked on every door to see if any women needed additional sizes or items.  a woman opened the door and walked out to show a dress to her shopping partners.  the woman was debating whether or not to purchase the dress.  i, personally, told the woman that the dress looked great on her, but i tell everybody that because it's usually true (and i'm not eager to find an alternative to their outfit if it isn't cute!).

as the woman was deciding to purchase the dress, another lady snipped aloud, "you know there are other people in line, don't you.  come on, i mean you're not a pageant beauty!"

yup, i have witnessed many things at the limited: prostitutes looking for birthday presents, clueless husbands searching for the perfect gift, but never, ever had i witnessed a fight in the fitting room.

UNTIL TODAY...so how did i resolve this issue?  i apologized to the customer in the dress and walked out of the fitting room to ask debbie's advice.  she told me to shrug them off.  as i returned to the fitting room, another lady in a wheelchair waiting outside told me she had also been insulted by the aforementioned meanie!  and the insult was about being in a wheelchair nonetheless.

after this incident, as i was working on more go-backs, many customers told me how strange their fitting room experience was.  a woman's husband mentioned that he was so surprised he couldn't speak--and was too scared to speak in front of the harsh audience surrounding the fitting rooms.

yet again, my life gets weirder.

imprisoned

okay, blogfans, here's the situation:

i'm spending the night at my aunt's house. she has two dogs; they don't like me, and i don't like them. my aunt and my cousin are at a christmas party, and i just arrived to her house... alone. i'm now sitting upstairs with access to nothing but a computer in an effort to stay away from the dogs. i have the baby gate blocking the stairwell to ensure they stay downstairs and i stay upstairs.

i haven't eaten dinner, but the kitchen is downstairs, clearly the dogs' territory. i would just make a run for the door and come back later, but i am without a car. a different aunt dropped me off here because i'm meeting some friends in the morning and heading to washington, dc for the week.

although i should be in charge here, it is quite obvious that the dogs are ruling the roost right now. i'm a little more afraid of them than i want to admit.

guess i'm about to start making phone calls in order to avoid utter boredom.

update: made one phone call, but my phone died. my aunt still isn't home. i am now reduced solely to the computer for entertainment. be good to me, facebook chat.

Flowers, Christmas Eve, and the best gift ever!

A few things I must share with you all!

• I have decided to apply for a part-time job when I go back to Clinton.  In addition to working at the writing center, I am going to ask a few florists in Clinton if they need any part-time help.  Why?  Because I love flowers!  I would be satisfied if they paid me in flowers...ohhh I am excited just imagining the beauty...and can't believe I haven't thought of this sooner!
• Merry Christmas!  Hope all of you are enjoying Christmas now that the shopping, traffic, and stress is over!  Now just wait until the day after Christmas.  I have been working at The Limited over break (a job I also had in high school) and can vouch that the day after Christmas is almost as thrilling for those of us working retail as, say, walking on hot coals.

I have been thinking of what Christmas means.  It is slightly tragic, I think, that an entire country can make such a huge deal of this holiday while missing Jesus.  Amidst car-to-car traffic and shopping bags galore, it is so clear that we can't provide each other with the "perfect gift".  Why?  because the scarf WILL develop a pull on it, the new nintendo WILL someday cause the TV to stop, and the chocolates WILL go bad.  

God gave us Christmas because He looked at a sad and broken world--his children--and decided that something needed to happen so that His relationship with them could be restored.  THIS is why we celebrate!!  Through Jesus, we can know God.

I confess that even I try to make this season perfect for others.  But I am so thankful that I can rest in receiving the gift of Jesus.  Christ is eternal.  He never fails.

beef soup

i have terrible eyesight. i thought a few examples from tuesday might provide a bit of amusement.

at my eye appointment, the nurse took my glasses from me and then asked me to read the letters on the eye chart. seriously, lady? that's why i wear glasses... because i can't read those letters. she kept going to a bigger line and saying, "now can you read them?" when we finally got to the top of the chart, i said, "well, i know it's supposed to be a really big e." and she said, "yes, but can you see it?" and i said, "nope." that's why i'm here trying to get surgery actually.

a little later in the eye appointment, the nurse decided to dilate my eyes. she told me that it would be stronger than normal and that my eyes would be sensitive to light and that i would probably have difficulty seeing for at least eight hours. apparently, i didn't pay much attention to this information because when i tried to look at my phone on the way home, i couldn't figure out why i couldn't read anything on the screen. i kept holding my phone at different angles until my dad finally said, "do you need some help with that?"

because of my dilated pupils, or crazy eyes as i affectionately referred to them, i couldn't put my contacts in for the rest of the day. however, we were having family pictures taken, and i didn't want to wear my glasses in the pictures. i developed a brilliant plan: just take off my glasses while the pictures were being taken. that sounds like a good plan, right?! wrong! at one point, while we were being re-posed, the photographer (who also happens to be a family friend) asked me a question. because she was looking at me, she didn't see a need to use my name. because i couldn't see her, i didn't know she was talking to me and continued to stare in her general direction without answering. fortunately, my brother elbowed me, and i managed to save the day with, "oh, you were talking to me? i can't see a thing without my glasses." or with them, apparently.

after the pictures, my family picked up take-out from our favorite asian restaurant. once home, we were all fixing our plates and heading to the table. even though i was wearing my glasses again, i still couldn't really see. i walked over to where my sister was dishing beef soup from the container into a bowl. as i watched her, i said, "claire, why are you taking all the mushrooms?" and she said, "ash, that's beef. that's why they call it beef soup."

thank goodness for lasik surgery in may.

quote from my dad

my dad just broke this one out:
"i've always thought i was a cool dad, but recently I've had the realization that I'm just a middle-aged white guy"

a day on harbison blvd.

As ash and I have mentioned before, we are now finished with exams and home for christmas break!  Along with this season comes sleeping late, arts and crafts (of course), and trips to the mall.  If you're from columbia, you are familiar with the two or three miles that cut right off of I26, affectionately (or not so affectionately) named harbison boulevard.  This stretch of traffic includes almost everything a shopper could need: wal-mart, best buy, target, sam's club, 2 movie theatres, various small businesses and restaurants, in addition to a mall with a belks, sears, dillards, jc penny, and other attractions.

I've been spending a lot of time on harbison lately and encountered a few notable adventures during this time:

• i have been reminded of how much i hate driving, especially in columbia.  for example, the other day i was taking a secret route behind petsmart to avoid traffic (because it stresses me out) while also talking to my friend lauren.  an older couple passes along the secret path perpendicular to me, and next thing i know an older lady in the passenger seat is motioning something to me.  i squint my eyes and realize she is motioning in giant gestures and screaming for me to get off the phone!  i didn't know what to do next so I just continued to drive home
  
• i have also had several run-ins with the hair straightener people at the mall.  they try to get me every time!  the italian-looking men always say to me "sweetie, can i ask you a question," at which point i either run, laugh, or tell them i have to go to work.
• also...today at the mall an old man in a wheelchair mumbled something unidentifiable to me and shot me a giant stare!
• shout-out to my summer roomie brooke, who escaped from LP and paid $2 to stand inside a hurrican simulator!  i, too, noticed a HURRICANE SIMULATOR in the mall today.  whatever happened to gum ball machines?
• also made the GIANT MISTAKE of going to lowe's to find my dad a christmas present.  usually, i wouldn't consider going to lowe's a mistake, but this time i went without any idea of what to buy him, so i strolled down every aisle and even the garden center looking for a present for my dad before i got overwhelmed and peaced.

moral of the story: avoid harbison at all costs.  and if a lady motions at you to get off your phone, smile, lay it aside, and consider how many other numerous weirdos exist on our planet :).

pop-isms

i drove to greenville today to spend some time with my paternal grandfather, pop. he isn't much of a talker (and never has been), but when he does speak up, he always provides a laugh - without meaning to and without realizing it. today was no exception. here are a few of the conversations he and i had:

tv addict
- pop: thanks for driving me to the doctor, ashton. i hate having to depend on people like this, but my vision's just so bad. half the time i see double, and half the time everything's blurry.
- ash: oh, i don't mind. i'm glad to spend some time with you.
- p: well, i'm just glad i'm not a tv addict.
- a: sir?
- p: i'm glad i'm not a tv addict. 'cuz with my eyes like they are, i can hardly watch tv anymore. if i was a tv addict, i don't know what i'd do.
- a: oh, i'm sorry. well, are you still able to read? i know you love to read.
- p: oh, yeah! whenever i read, everything's just as plain as day. it's just that tv that gives me problems. yep, i'm glad i'm not a tv addict.
(later... at his apartment)
- p: you want to watch tv? you have anything you watch in the afternoons?
- a: oh, i don't care. is there something you want to watch?
- p: awww, nah. i don't watch tv hardly ever, especially not in the afternoons. here, you take the remote and find something you like.
- a: okay, well, let's just see what's on.
(tv comes on)
- p: do you watch ellen? it's three. ellen's on. you want to watch ellen?
- a: sure, that'd be fine with me.
- p: you watch oprah? she's on next. at four. we can watch her too.

big rooms
- p: you see that building right there?
(he points to the new surgical hospital)
- a: yes sir.
- p: that's the new branch of the hospital. it sure is nice. they've got these nice big rooms and actually enough staff to take care of the patients. that's where i wanted them to send me. but they didn't give me a choice. they just sent me over to that old place across town. i asked susan [his daughter] if we could just tell them i might need surgery so i could get in, but she said we weren't allowed to do that. i don't know why i couldn't stay there. mary [his sister-in-law] got to stay there.
- a: well, i think she needed surgery.
- p: yeah, i just like those big rooms. i still don't see why i couldn't have one of those big rooms. it sure is nice there.

water
- p: you want something to drink? all i have to offer you is gatorade or water.
- a: oh, i'd love some water. that's all i drink, so water'd be great.
- p: yeah, those doctors are always telling me to drink more water. but i don't want to.
- a: well, pop, water's good for you.
- p: yeah, but it goes right through me. i drink a glass and i'm running to the bathroom. there's no sense in that.
(pause... he fixes himself a glass of water)
- p: cold water chills my insides. so what am i supposed to do?
(pause)
- p: i hate water. period.

and my personal favorite...

politicians
(silence... we've been sitting in the car for about two minutes without speaking)
- p: i just don't know how those politicians do it.
- a: do what, pop?
- p: talk all the time. they stand up there and give those hour long speeches. i'm hoarse just from talking to you.

well, blogfans, there you have it: the inner-workings of my 79 year old grandfather's mind. :)

ghost hunting or house hunting?

seeing as it is christmas break, i am using my time to rest and catch up on some quality reading and television.  i'm not usually much of a tv fan, but a few shows have caught my interest recently, especially sing off.  what a great tv show!  i, personally, am rooting for the beezlebubs.

i'm also catching up on a few classics, namely cake boss, say yes to the dress, and house hunters.  my most recent house hunters exposure proved to be...interesting.  three minutes ago, i was about to call it a night and retire to my cozy bed that has become increasingly appealing after a semester of dorm sleep.  that is, until i saw a teaser i will never forget.

the teaser went a little something like this:
"next on house hunters, this newlywed couple discovers an older, spacious house within their price range.
"'realtor: the local village built this home.  this house was originally intended as a family home, but it also served as the community's funeral parlor.' "

yup, i've seen house hunters las vegas, even house hunters international...but just when i thought i had seen it all...i see house hunters FUNERAL HOME edition? 

if you are as curious about this home as i was, take in a few of the house's details:

• 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath
  
• the house is located in a town just outside of madison, wisconsin called black earth (ironic??)
  
• the house's large living area, which has crown molding and wood floors, once served as the gathering space for "small gatherings" aka FUNERALS
  
•  the family room was once used as an embodiment room
  
• the house includes a CASKET ELEVATOR, still functioning, fyi, inside the second bathroom

so thanks house hunters, because just as i was finally about to get a night of shut-eye after a long day of lunch dates, shopping, and watching sing off, you caused me to lose a good half-hour's rest. (that figure doesn't even include the multiple night spooks which will inevitably result from the needless inclusion of this house on what was once my favorite show.)

the one redemptive factor in this segment: the newlywed couple didn't choose the funeral parlor.  they actually chose another ranch in black earth instead...a testament that though television programming isn't superb, HGTV hasn't lost all its marbles yet.

oh, golly, moses!

as you may already know, i thoroughly enjoy living with amanda. she's an awesome roommate and an even better friend. readers, since you don't have the privilege of spending as much time with amanda as i do, i thought i'd share a sampling of her latest quips:

"oh, golly, moses! (pause) what? is that weird? my grandma says it all the time."

"isn't all hunting the same?"

"i wish we had won the odor balls because our room stinks!"

"want to go see if our tracks are still there from where we drove into the creek?"

"are we roommates? just wondering because i never see you."

"studying with your boy will shakespeare."

"i locked our door so no one would steal our christmas tree."

"okay, so i'm bored already." (about five minutes into the basketball game)

"ash, you look so pretty. this is a good day for us!"

"i look like a boy! should i put earrings in?"

"ash, has anyone ever told you that you'd make a great boy?"

oops... it's exam week

sometimes, i forget things. important things. like the fact that i had an exam. oh, yes, it's true. read on for the full story...

so, being a somewhat uninterested student, i don't really pay that much attention to my school work. however, come exam week, i usually know when or if i have exams. i may choose not to study for them, but i at least know when to show up. this semester has been one of exceptionally little school work for me. taking only 12 hours and 9 of them in the physical education department, i've been doing pretty much nothing for the last 4 months.

only one of my classes, basic wellness, had an exam listed on the syllabus. easy enough, right? well, about 2 weeks ago, my professor offered to let us take the exam a week early. i was all for this idea because it would allow me to spend all of exam week distracting my friends from studying and reminding them that i had nothing to study for. so i immediately began spreading the word that i had no exams... just to make sure everyone knew. :) however, last week, my professor informed us that she was no longer allowing us to take our exam early and that we must take it during exam week. i'm not really sure if i blocked this from my memory because it was such devastating information or if i just never let it sink in, but whatever the case, i clearly did not retain this important announcement.

i have spent the last three days playing: i have slept, watched tv, spent the night with friends, had a job interview, gone to a tacky christmas sweater party, distracted my friends from studying, played basketball, talked on the phone, etc. this morning i woke up at 10:30 (very lucky considering i didn't set an alarm and intended to sleep most of the day), and after laying in my bed in a comatose state for about 30 minutes, i suddenly had a realization. i have an exam at 2:00 today. so, blogfans, what did i do? you guessed it - shrugged my shoulders and rolled over for another few hours of sleep.

JUST KIDDING! i was tempted to do just that, but instead i took out my study guide, spent about an hour looking up some answers about cardiorespiratory endurance, flexibility, and addiction, took a shower, and went to the exam basically unprepared and completely unworried. and with good reason... the exam took about 20 minutes to complete, and i'm pretty sure my 9 year old cousin could have correctly answered the majority of the questions. what's a college education for, right?!

anyway, i'm thankful to have that exam behind me and glad to return to my safe, happy, little world of no school work and all play. don't worry, pc-ers, i'll be visiting you sometime this week to distract you from your studies. i like to think of myself as a breath of fresh air in the midst of the smog of gross income, the civil war, vectors, and shakespeare (or whatever it is that you people study).

ALL-NIGHTER

Appearantly PC's unofficial declaration of "dead week" is indeed a false statement.  This week, our last week of classes, is supposed to be free of tests, papers, and assignments.  Instead of dreaming right now, I am in the library, where I will be for oh...the next 8 hours, at least.  Yes, it's true.  I'm pulling my first college all-nighter.  Updates to follow...I can only imagine how good the posts will be at 5 am.

1:32 AM: John Solms tells Ashton she has soft hands.

1:37 AM: I just stubbed my toe while sitting down.

2:02 AM: Brittni just punched me.  (It's ok brittni you're forgiven). No worries: I thumped her head really  hard back.  ALSO: done with holocaust paper.  Going to buy a drink in a few minutes.  About to try to get a total of 3 pages in German.  This will be a challenge.

2:28 AM: Why is it that when I'm typing a German paper I can't even notice the typos?  Oh yeah...because I hardly know German at all.  Period.

2:59 AM: 1.5/5 pages in German.  It's looking impossible.

3:39 AM: Considering dropping German on the Internet next semester.  A minor isn't worth this pain... 2 pages done in German.  Calling it quits for the day.  About to head over to the drawing room.

5:30 AM: there is charcoal all over my hands.  I drew 1 pastiche (copy of a famous person's drawing) of a Van Gogh city garden landscape, I sketched 1 cute dress, and drew 1 abstract piece I am going to title "grace."  the theme of my project is "my favorite things" ... yeah...like the song.  maybe some pics can go up later.  can't decide whether or not to go to the library and knock out some germ or take a shower and a power nap now...

6:37 PM...thursday: two naps later, don't feel quite as bad as I could.  The worst hour was between 8 and 9.  Slept so hard that I could have been unconscious.  Art professor told me my drawing was ominous and creepy.  Don't know what that means exactly.  German up to my eyeballs.  Shakespeare objective exam tomorrow.  So glad my life doesn't depend on this.  Praying for God to give me rest even as I'm studying.

11:57 PM...thursday: how does it feel to ring in another sleepless night?  what a vast question.  currently there is some entertainment in the library.  our friends paul and james are taking pictures in christmas sweaters with everyone in the library...even people they don't know!2 more pages left in german, already done studying for shakespeare.  then it'll be a wrap!  PTL

Here's a picture of james and paul with a lady who works in the library.  check out even more pictures on facebook!

goal

friends, amanda and i have set a goal of having 20 blog followers by christmas. if you are reading this, give us a little early christmas present and become a follower. :)

confessions

whenever i go home for an extended period of time, i never think to pack certain items, because it seems like home should include everything i could ever need.  confession: i've been wearing my brother's deodorant since wednesday.

a picture of me and my brother, evan.  thanks for the antiperspirant, bro!

giving thanks, post turkeyday

inspired by my roomie, decided to make a list of things i am thankful for:

• i am thankful to know a god who is bigger and better than anything i can imagine, a god who wants to be my friend and know my thoughts and laugh at silly things with me.  i am thankful for true grace and joy that come only through christ.  i am thankful to be able to come to him when i'm angry or mean or want to hide from the world, and find peace.  i am thankful for his word, how it is always true.  i am thankful, too, that he chose me and trusted me to be a character in his perfect story of redemption.
• i am thankful that my life isn't about what i study in college, the job i have over the summer, the career i may or may not someday pursue, the girls who befriend me, how great of a hair day i have, or how well i drive.
• i am thankful for christian community at pc...for friends who come to my room at midnight to listen to me freak out and remind me that god is always good.  i am thankful for friends who love to pray and talk to jesus with me on long car rides.
• i am thankful for the sophomore girls at pc who constantly challenge me to know more of christ and give my life away so that others may know more of him as well.
• i am thankful for a roommate who loves jesus, is always honest, and loves me even when i make our room messy.  ashton has taught me so much this year, including how to eat ice cream the real way: by the gallon.
• i am thankful to be able to live life with girls in my sorority.  i am thankful to walk into their rooms, talk with them about things that are important in our lives, and cry with them on the floor.  i am thankful to be able to study the bible with them and watch say yes to the dress with them and eat with them and giggle with them. 

• i am thankful for a family who makes me laugh a lot.  i am thankful that they love to play scrabble and care for each other greatly.
• i am thankful for other things that make me happy: walking around cities, sleeping with the alarm clock off, danskos on pin attire days, sipping coffee during class, sitting in a beautiful church, having plenty of time to get ready in the morning, a new tube of mascara, hot bubble baths, knowing that the art museum in columbia is free on sundays, and pretty flower bouquets.
• i'm thankful for god's perfect plan, and delighted to know more of it each day.  god extends his faithfulness to me, a fact i consider unreal, but a truth he delivers every morning.  no matter what my future entails, be it pain or suffering or messiness or grunge, it is for him.  that is better than anything else i could live for, or anything else i could be thankful for. 

LOVE Y'ALL.

ditched...

blogfans, what an eventful two hours ash and i have just spent. 

we had this thing called prayer tonight at 9.  ash and i hang out almost every sunday before or after this time.  today, we decided to go for a little adventure...aka a ride through clinton and surrounding areas.  sound harmless?  you just wait.

the beginning of the adventure starts as we load up with some cherry limeades (light ice) and tater tots from sonic, drive to laurens and find the cutest airport ever.  who even knew there was an airport near pc?  we pass several other factories, including one named anderson  (anderson what?  i'm still at a loss for the rest of the name of this place, but at least it provided some amusement).  we also pass the sterilite factory and hickory hills barbeque, a delicassy in these parts.

we start talking about something really interesting and continued our voyage through clinton.  passing pc again, i decid to take a left before whiteford's (another restaurant famous for burgers and old people).  noticing some cute houses and swings, ash and i continu chatting until all i feel beneath my car wheels is muddy goo and all i see ahead of my windshield is scary, large branches. 

"stop, amanda, stop, stop, we're in the grass, stop, stop, stop," i hear ashton yell.
i'm pressing the brakes all the way and the car just keeps on going and going and then i press really hard and it finally stops.  yes friends, i steered us straight into a dead-end ditch.  and not just a ditch, mind you, but what i soon learn is a creek!

so then i very quickly put the car in reverse and rev up the engine.  yup, you guessed it, all we got was spinning wheels.  very loud spinning wheels.  very loud and obnoxious and hopeless spinning wheels.

so what next?  ashton decides we need boys to help.  she calls brinck (who was about to enter into a deep slumber).  i give him directions to our current dead end location and we wait.  for about 15 minutes, i start to freak out.  when i say freak out, i mean i'm pretty anxious but not yet at tears. so here's the dialogue that ensues after 5 minutes of pure, hysterical laughter, no words:

Ashton: "ok, ok, it's ok."
Amanda: "no, no, no, no.  I AM SO STUPID!!!"
Ashton: "what are you worried about??"
Amanda: "that my car is messed up, that this ditch is messed up, that my parents will be mad, that my friends will consider me a liability, that i will never finish my take-home german test that was due a month ago, that we'll get dirty..."
Ashton: "ok...well i promise you we won't get dirty"
Amanda: "please pray.  just pray ashton AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Ashton: "god, thank you for being sovereign even over this moment.  and for planning for us to end up in a ditch.  and for cherry limeades from sonic.  and for keeping us safe, even right now.  and for guy friends who are willing to get out of bed to pull us out of the mud.  amen"
Amanda: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ashton: what's wrong?
Amanda: MY LIFE IS A JOKE

right now i'd classify this occurance as a bigger deal than when my car got towed in greenville but less of a deal than say the time i almost slid down a mountain into a rock quarry.

conversation continues.  we wait a really long time.  i give the wrong directions, appearantly, but brinck and travis (an experienced firefighter, mind you) finally find us.  it is during this time that the boys inform us that not only are we stuck in mud, but we are stuck in mud only inches away from a creek.  thankful again for our lives, we get out of the car (althought we do get a little dirty...one compromise i'll make for my own stupidity). the boys put a long string/rope from their jeep to my poor baby stuck in this hellacious mud pit, they press the gas on the jeep a lot, a lot of noise happens, and low and behold, my car is magically returned to concrete!

problem solved!  except for one last unanswerable question.

"so amanda, how exactly did you end up in that ditch," brinck asks.

my reply--there was no dead end sign.  and it was dark, a little rainy, so of course my brights are off.

after the boys peace out, ashton drives my car to the end of the road when we notice the boys stopped beside the stop sign.  we both wonder what else this night could possibly entail.  i roll down my window, they point to the stop sign, and underneath that red familiar octagon lies a yellow diamond square that reads "dead end."

i am humiliated.  God is good.  the boys will receive brownies and chocolate milk tomorrow. 

and that my friends, is the story of how we got ditched...

our tracks, and our creek, just for your perusing pleasure :)

gallon challenge

attention, readers: as you may have heard, the average college student participates in his or her fair share of drinking games. tonight, i joined the mass collegiate population and engaged in a game involving drinking. however, my game was slightly different in that it involved consuming gigantic amounts of milk, not alcohol.

the gallon challenge is a competition in which the participants attempt to consume an entire gallon of whole milk within an hour. if able to actually consume all the milk, the second part of the competition incorporates holding the milk in one's stomach for another complete hour.

although i have heard many a boy complain about this gallon challenge and his miserable failure in the attempt to successfully complete it, i never actually believed that it could be that difficult. but tonight i discovered just how treacherous this challenge is. after consuming about 3/4 a gallon of milk in about 40 minutes and watching 2 boys puke up all the milk they had consumed, i threw in the towel as i puked over the side of the second floor balcony of my friend's room. a little later, the other 2 boys competing in the challenge ended up puking as well.

a small confession: tonight was the first time i have thrown up since i was about 9 years old. i actually forgot how to throw up and kept my mouth closed so that i ended up with a mouth full of milk puke. and here's the real confession: i wanted to win so badly that i actually contemplated swallowing the puke back down. it only took about 30 seconds to realize what a terrible plan that was.

moral: i'm glad i participated. i always love to do things that boys don't expect girls to be willing to do. however, i think i might stay away from milk for a while. for some reason, i just don't seem to have a craving for it...

me and our friend derrick, before the disgusting aftermath of the gallon challenge

BJC vs CNBC

there are two terms necessary to understanding me and ash's current state of singleness.  oh, blog fans, a few quick definitions before this post begins:

BJC- acronym for the "Bridgette Jones Club".  based on the movie Bridgette Jones' Diary, the BJC is a club that celebrates singleness and the life of women without men.

CNBC- acronym for the "Christian NoteBook Club".  based on the movie The Notebook, the CNBC is the Christian version of a man who is committed to love all of his lover forever.  (note that the CNBC has a few major differences from the NBC.  One of them being sexual faithfulness, for example.  another being the exclusion of pre- and extra- marital affairs.)

so how do we reconcile the differences between these two equally valuable clubs?  and how can we remain members in good standing of both of these clubs simultaneously?  is such a feat even possible?

let me speak from personal experience my friends, while one can be an advocate of both the BJC and the CNBC, membership in either or both of these clubs does not define you.  i am also learning that my membership status actually doesn't belong to either of these clubs, but instead it belongs to my first lover, my lasting lover: Christ.  though it may be easier to claim total allegiance to the BJC or the CNBC, i have to remember that in trusting God to be enough to satisfy me, whether that means for me singleness or not, he will be faithful to his promises.

double UPdate

so, as promised, this post is an update regarding amanda's and my double date. it was a fun night consisting of good conversation, yummy food, and well-planned activities. the evening began with dinner at los potreros, or as some of us fondly refer to it: los posteros (don't ask me why). then we went to this adorable little park in laurens and played putt-putt. none of the four of us were really very skilled at this game of miniature golf, but it was amusing to see just how bad we were. also, per my request, the boys humored us by playing on the swings for a good 30 minutes. oh, how i love to swing! (yes, i really am 21 years old.) and then brinck and derek took us to bi-lo to pick out our favorite dessert. we chose ice cream, of course! we took the ice cream back to our room to enjoy and happened to run into our friends, sam and brittni (who were returning from a date as well). we invited them to join us for ice cream and ended the night with a little triple date action. don't worry, dad, we were back by 10. :)

dirty laundry

even though this confession may seem ridiculous, in learning how stupid and careless i act at times, God is teaching me that i will never measure up to this perfect, smart, put-together girl i sometimes fool myself into believing i am.

ashton and i just returned from a 2 am run to the wal-mart in laurens. on the 15 minute ride to laurens county's favorite late-night hangout, i remembered how much i need laundry detergent. last week was the first time i've washed clothes in a while; i had almost 4 loads swirling through the washers across the hall for a few hours.

as ash and i are walking down the detergent aisle, i am trying to decide which detergent to purchase. (a small side note: i HATE making decisions. i'm very awful at this process. i have to make a check-list in my mind or really examine pros and cons and, oh...it's a terrible thing for me to have to do!) for some reason, the only detergent we see is downy, so i ask ash where the box detergent is located, thinking, for some strange reason, that this type would somehow be more economical.

so we're strolling down the box aisle, and the incredible diversity of these detergents begins to overwhelm me! there are boxes and containers of detergent, all boasting varying scents and clothe-washing abilities when it hits me: i've been washing my clothes in fabric softener for the past 40 loads.

what does this mean? am i that ditzy? that dumb? that careless? how can i possibly ever take care of myself if i can't even wash a load of clothes correctly? and my clothes--i mean, i guess they're soft now--but have i been stinky since i last bought this stuff, spring semester of my freshman year?

and so yet again, i fail...fail to take care of myself, to be savvy, thoughtful and perfect. even at something as insignificant as a load of laundry, i see my need for a savior. and what a comfort to know that jesus never has dirty laundry.

a joint post: the double date

occasionally, events will occur that are so out of the ordinary they will require us to tag-team a post. one such event has occurred. the following is our cooperative attempt to recreate the event in a way that will allow our readers to fully experience it along with us.

amanda: let's begin on sunday night. i'm running around the building where we have our campus outreach meetings trying to give my good friend mel a wet willy. mid-run, i hear someone calling my name. lo and behold, this person is none other than brinck bowers. so, basically, i consider this calling to be of UTTER significance because my only present goal is to wet mel's inner ear. as i reluctantly forfeit the possiblity of giving the BEST wet willy of all time, i walk over to where brinck is sitting. when i am standing near him, i ask "what's up, brinck?" and then...he gestures me to sit down. in my mind i am trying to understand what is going on. was i being too silly in the building? am i distracting other people's conversations? as my mind switches from fun, silly, crazy to somewhat serious, i hear yet another voice calling my name: ash. not only is ash hollering for me, but she is screaming, "amanda, aren't you going to sit here? your bible and notebook is on the front row!" here comes the dilemma. once brinck notices that ashton notices our conversation, he shrugs everything off, refusing to reveal the secret that was good enough to make me give up the wet willy that would shake the universe. and so i return to the front row...confused and perplexed, but not expecting anything special to arise from the circumstance. afterall, weirdness is the anthem of my life.

fast forward to 1 pm monday. i get out of the most boringnest class ever, theatre history, and walk past some boys on the way back to the dorm. brinck is among them, so naturally i ask him what exactly it is that was so important the night before to tell me. a puzzled look crosses his face, he waits a few moments, and just tells me that he wanted to give me a wet willy. so i accept the answer, and continue with my day...

ashton: up until this point in the story, amanda and i can only assume that i, too, am somehow involved in this baffling series of correspondence. indeed, our suspicions are confirmed when i receive a text from the infamous brinck at approximately 4:16 pm on monday. it reads: "hey can you make sure you and amanda are in the room at 12:30 tomorrow if not let us know." i think why would brinck want us to be in our room together tomorrow? wait, who is "us"? and how many of "us" are there? obviously, these are questions that must remain unanswered for the time being. through consulting with amanda, we decide that although we both love to skip class, this mysterious potential encounter is probably not skip worthy, and so we lamentably text brinck to inform him that 12:30 will not work for us. after a series of texts in which brinck continues to offer up times, and we continue to say those times will not work for us, we end up making no decisions at all. so amanda and i go to the library to work on papers and continue to ponder on this unfolding mystery. let's fast forward to tuesday morning. brinck again texts me about working out a time, and after some negotiation, i think we have chosen 2:45 as the moment of truth. however...

amanda: so like ashton said, it's tuesday. tuesdays are the days at PC where girls in sororities wear "pin attire" to be dressed for chapter meetings in the evenings. pin attire deserves a post to itself, so be on the lookout readers, because one is on its way. i have a little break between my class at 10 and 12, so i'm doing one of my favorite things...laying in bed. about 11.18 am i hear a boisterous knock on the door. i'm laying in bed, in a dress, so i figure whoever's it is can just let themselves in if it's really that important. i tell them to come in, but all i get is more knocking. finally i get out of bed (ugh!!), tie the back of my dress, and open the door. and this is when the story gets good: i see not only brinck outside our door, but one of our other friends derek as well. the boys inquire about ashton's whereabouts when they discover she is no where to be found. i tell them that i think she is in the writing center, but i'm not entirely positive. they look at each other, look at me again, look at each other again, and then in his brinck voice brinck exclaims "Worst plan ever!" i close the door, they peace out.

ashton: as amanda conjectured, i am indeed working in the writing center during the time of the boys' untimely visit. so i have a break between my tutoring sessions and casually check my phone, only to realize that i have 4 new text messages. for some of you, that may not seem like a lot in 30 minutes, but for me... that's like a day's worth of texts all at the same time. imagine my excitement and astonishment at this discovery. two of these texts are from brinck regarding the fact that 2:45 will no longer work and that he would like now to be the meeting time. one of the texts is from my friend amy (who i informed about the mystery earlier in the day) to say that she ran into brinck and asked him what he was planning, and his reponse was, "we just want them to be surprised!" and the last text is from amanda informing me that brinck and derek just showed up at our door. after several more texts back and forth with brinck, it is finally decided that we will meet up after the campus outreach meeting.

amanda: so we return to smyth and a few minutes later, we hear yet another knock on the door. expecting the two same culprits who exercised that same knock earlier, the door opens to reveal brinck all alone. he tells us that derek isn't responding to any texts, so he is just going to do what the two of them were going to do by himself. i hope that this next part translates well into words, friends, because it is hilarity! brinck continues to do the following, pretending to be derek. acting as himself, he asks, "Will," then moving a few feet to the side and pretending to be derek, he says "you," then he walks back to his former stance and says, "go,"...ok the funniness ensues to him asking us to go on a double date with he and derek. we laugh, a lot, and then work out a few details about the double dateage. brinck hangs out for a few minutes, he leaves, we go to bed, go on with our lives...

And in t-minus one hour and 32 minutes, we'll be on our double date! Look out for an update post soon :).

McAwesomeness

A cool and somewhat obscure past Ashton and I share: a history of working for the world's largest fast-food chain--McDonalds! Yup, both of us spent this past summer working at different McDonalds in the Southeast's Mecca of all tourist attractions: Myrtle Beach. Speaking from experience, I think I am about as knowledgeable about the eating habits of travelers from across America as one could be! For example, a Canadian once asked me if we had any berry sauce for our chicken nuggets! If only you could have heard his reaction when I explained to him through the drive-through speaker that no such dipping sauce existed. But let's be real, friends, though McDonalds does sometimes get a bad rep, it isn't such an awful place to work. My hatred of the job during first few weeks of ruining people's lives (aka giving them a Double Cheeseburger instead of a McDouble) evolved into a sort of endearing tenderness towards the restaurant! I now even visit the McDonalds in Clinton instead of hitting up Sonic. Not to mention, I and a few of the girls I worked with stashed up on those Beanie Baby happy meal toys. Let's just say if I ever have children they won't be aching for those precious little stuffed delights. :)

bovine bath

just when we thought our lives were the weirdest, we found out tonight on the news that a lady in greenville woke up to a cow in her pool the other day. more details to come.

UPDATE: you can view reports of this insane incident at http://www2.wspa.com/spa/news/local/article/cow_rescued_from_anderson_county_swimming_pool/29840/. i encourage you all to investigate this strange occurrence.

voices from the bushes

a few weeks ago, at approximately 7:57 am on a sunday morning, amanda and i were sound asleep in our cozy beds, dreaming sweet dreams of frolicking through fields of flowers. (okay, honestly, amanda probably was having just such a dream, but let's be serious... i was most likely dreaming about some sporting event or the world's largest steak or something.)

anyway, we were aroused by the sound of someone pounding very loudly against a window... our window! in our half-asleep stupor, it took us a minute to realize exactly what was happening. as we were shaking the sleep from our eyes, we heard the following phrases being screamed by two male voices: carson*! get your drunk @$$ out of bed! we have to go to clean-up! (if you aren't a PC student, or maybe just have been away from the college life for a while, clean-up is what fraternity pledges do on sunday mornings - they report to their fraternity house and clean up whatever mess is left behind from the previous nights' partying.)

as we were trying to deduce who carson was and why anyone would think he was in our room, we realized that our window was being opened from the outside by the males to which the screaming voices belonged. and then amanda (whose bed is located right next to the window) came nose to nose with one of the screamers. and, in the most polite, calm voice she has ever used, she said, "he is not here. (pause.) please leave."

and leave they did. but not without first closing our window back (how thoughtful, right?!), beating around in the bushes, yelling more obscenities, actually coming inside the building (what a revolutionary idea, i might add), and eventually finding drunk @$$, also known as carson.

although amanda and i were tempted to report the pledges to their fraternity president and demand a hand-written apology as well as flowers personally delivered to our door, we decided to let the incident slide. i must confess that although it was inconvenient at the time, we have incurred immense pleasure from telling this story over and over again.

in order to ensure that this type of incident does not occur again, we have decided to hang a sign on our window that reads, "boys do not sleep here. they rarely even visit." :)

last, but not least, as all good stories do, this story has a moral: drunk people are very, very stupid.

*names have been changed to conceal identities