dirty laundry

even though this confession may seem ridiculous, in learning how stupid and careless i act at times, God is teaching me that i will never measure up to this perfect, smart, put-together girl i sometimes fool myself into believing i am.

ashton and i just returned from a 2 am run to the wal-mart in laurens. on the 15 minute ride to laurens county's favorite late-night hangout, i remembered how much i need laundry detergent. last week was the first time i've washed clothes in a while; i had almost 4 loads swirling through the washers across the hall for a few hours.

as ash and i are walking down the detergent aisle, i am trying to decide which detergent to purchase. (a small side note: i HATE making decisions. i'm very awful at this process. i have to make a check-list in my mind or really examine pros and cons and, oh...it's a terrible thing for me to have to do!) for some reason, the only detergent we see is downy, so i ask ash where the box detergent is located, thinking, for some strange reason, that this type would somehow be more economical.

so we're strolling down the box aisle, and the incredible diversity of these detergents begins to overwhelm me! there are boxes and containers of detergent, all boasting varying scents and clothe-washing abilities when it hits me: i've been washing my clothes in fabric softener for the past 40 loads.

what does this mean? am i that ditzy? that dumb? that careless? how can i possibly ever take care of myself if i can't even wash a load of clothes correctly? and my clothes--i mean, i guess they're soft now--but have i been stinky since i last bought this stuff, spring semester of my freshman year?

and so yet again, i fail...fail to take care of myself, to be savvy, thoughtful and perfect. even at something as insignificant as a load of laundry, i see my need for a savior. and what a comfort to know that jesus never has dirty laundry.