fitting room fiasco

As I have previously mentioned, I have worked on and off at the limited since my senior year in high school. Today is one of my last days at the limited for the year.  (I may or may not work there over the month of may, depending on whether or not my parents agree to let me go to south africa.)  Anyways, as soon as I came into work at 3 today I started working on the "go-backs".  go-backs are all of the clothes customers try on in the fitting rooms but decide not to purchase.

shortly after i began putting the go-backs away, my manager, debbie, asked if i would work the fitting rooms.  basically, this job entails putting the clothes in the room for the customers and getting additional items at their request.

today was an especially busy day at the limited.  many customers sought to take advantage of a substantial sale.  by the time i went to work the fitting rooms, about five or six women were standing in line to receive a room.

a few "excuse me"s later, i made my way to the fitting room.  i knocked on every door to see if any women needed additional sizes or items.  a woman opened the door and walked out to show a dress to her shopping partners.  the woman was debating whether or not to purchase the dress.  i, personally, told the woman that the dress looked great on her, but i tell everybody that because it's usually true (and i'm not eager to find an alternative to their outfit if it isn't cute!).

as the woman was deciding to purchase the dress, another lady snipped aloud, "you know there are other people in line, don't you.  come on, i mean you're not a pageant beauty!"

yup, i have witnessed many things at the limited: prostitutes looking for birthday presents, clueless husbands searching for the perfect gift, but never, ever had i witnessed a fight in the fitting room.

UNTIL TODAY...so how did i resolve this issue?  i apologized to the customer in the dress and walked out of the fitting room to ask debbie's advice.  she told me to shrug them off.  as i returned to the fitting room, another lady in a wheelchair waiting outside told me she had also been insulted by the aforementioned meanie!  and the insult was about being in a wheelchair nonetheless.

after this incident, as i was working on more go-backs, many customers told me how strange their fitting room experience was.  a woman's husband mentioned that he was so surprised he couldn't speak--and was too scared to speak in front of the harsh audience surrounding the fitting rooms.

yet again, my life gets weirder.

imprisoned

okay, blogfans, here's the situation:

i'm spending the night at my aunt's house. she has two dogs; they don't like me, and i don't like them. my aunt and my cousin are at a christmas party, and i just arrived to her house... alone. i'm now sitting upstairs with access to nothing but a computer in an effort to stay away from the dogs. i have the baby gate blocking the stairwell to ensure they stay downstairs and i stay upstairs.

i haven't eaten dinner, but the kitchen is downstairs, clearly the dogs' territory. i would just make a run for the door and come back later, but i am without a car. a different aunt dropped me off here because i'm meeting some friends in the morning and heading to washington, dc for the week.

although i should be in charge here, it is quite obvious that the dogs are ruling the roost right now. i'm a little more afraid of them than i want to admit.

guess i'm about to start making phone calls in order to avoid utter boredom.

update: made one phone call, but my phone died. my aunt still isn't home. i am now reduced solely to the computer for entertainment. be good to me, facebook chat.

Flowers, Christmas Eve, and the best gift ever!

A few things I must share with you all!

• I have decided to apply for a part-time job when I go back to Clinton.  In addition to working at the writing center, I am going to ask a few florists in Clinton if they need any part-time help.  Why?  Because I love flowers!  I would be satisfied if they paid me in flowers...ohhh I am excited just imagining the beauty...and can't believe I haven't thought of this sooner!
• Merry Christmas!  Hope all of you are enjoying Christmas now that the shopping, traffic, and stress is over!  Now just wait until the day after Christmas.  I have been working at The Limited over break (a job I also had in high school) and can vouch that the day after Christmas is almost as thrilling for those of us working retail as, say, walking on hot coals.

I have been thinking of what Christmas means.  It is slightly tragic, I think, that an entire country can make such a huge deal of this holiday while missing Jesus.  Amidst car-to-car traffic and shopping bags galore, it is so clear that we can't provide each other with the "perfect gift".  Why?  because the scarf WILL develop a pull on it, the new nintendo WILL someday cause the TV to stop, and the chocolates WILL go bad.  

God gave us Christmas because He looked at a sad and broken world--his children--and decided that something needed to happen so that His relationship with them could be restored.  THIS is why we celebrate!!  Through Jesus, we can know God.

I confess that even I try to make this season perfect for others.  But I am so thankful that I can rest in receiving the gift of Jesus.  Christ is eternal.  He never fails.

beef soup

i have terrible eyesight. i thought a few examples from tuesday might provide a bit of amusement.

at my eye appointment, the nurse took my glasses from me and then asked me to read the letters on the eye chart. seriously, lady? that's why i wear glasses... because i can't read those letters. she kept going to a bigger line and saying, "now can you read them?" when we finally got to the top of the chart, i said, "well, i know it's supposed to be a really big e." and she said, "yes, but can you see it?" and i said, "nope." that's why i'm here trying to get surgery actually.

a little later in the eye appointment, the nurse decided to dilate my eyes. she told me that it would be stronger than normal and that my eyes would be sensitive to light and that i would probably have difficulty seeing for at least eight hours. apparently, i didn't pay much attention to this information because when i tried to look at my phone on the way home, i couldn't figure out why i couldn't read anything on the screen. i kept holding my phone at different angles until my dad finally said, "do you need some help with that?"

because of my dilated pupils, or crazy eyes as i affectionately referred to them, i couldn't put my contacts in for the rest of the day. however, we were having family pictures taken, and i didn't want to wear my glasses in the pictures. i developed a brilliant plan: just take off my glasses while the pictures were being taken. that sounds like a good plan, right?! wrong! at one point, while we were being re-posed, the photographer (who also happens to be a family friend) asked me a question. because she was looking at me, she didn't see a need to use my name. because i couldn't see her, i didn't know she was talking to me and continued to stare in her general direction without answering. fortunately, my brother elbowed me, and i managed to save the day with, "oh, you were talking to me? i can't see a thing without my glasses." or with them, apparently.

after the pictures, my family picked up take-out from our favorite asian restaurant. once home, we were all fixing our plates and heading to the table. even though i was wearing my glasses again, i still couldn't really see. i walked over to where my sister was dishing beef soup from the container into a bowl. as i watched her, i said, "claire, why are you taking all the mushrooms?" and she said, "ash, that's beef. that's why they call it beef soup."

thank goodness for lasik surgery in may.

quote from my dad

my dad just broke this one out:
"i've always thought i was a cool dad, but recently I've had the realization that I'm just a middle-aged white guy"

a day on harbison blvd.

As ash and I have mentioned before, we are now finished with exams and home for christmas break!  Along with this season comes sleeping late, arts and crafts (of course), and trips to the mall.  If you're from columbia, you are familiar with the two or three miles that cut right off of I26, affectionately (or not so affectionately) named harbison boulevard.  This stretch of traffic includes almost everything a shopper could need: wal-mart, best buy, target, sam's club, 2 movie theatres, various small businesses and restaurants, in addition to a mall with a belks, sears, dillards, jc penny, and other attractions.

I've been spending a lot of time on harbison lately and encountered a few notable adventures during this time:

• i have been reminded of how much i hate driving, especially in columbia.  for example, the other day i was taking a secret route behind petsmart to avoid traffic (because it stresses me out) while also talking to my friend lauren.  an older couple passes along the secret path perpendicular to me, and next thing i know an older lady in the passenger seat is motioning something to me.  i squint my eyes and realize she is motioning in giant gestures and screaming for me to get off the phone!  i didn't know what to do next so I just continued to drive home
  
• i have also had several run-ins with the hair straightener people at the mall.  they try to get me every time!  the italian-looking men always say to me "sweetie, can i ask you a question," at which point i either run, laugh, or tell them i have to go to work.
• also...today at the mall an old man in a wheelchair mumbled something unidentifiable to me and shot me a giant stare!
• shout-out to my summer roomie brooke, who escaped from LP and paid $2 to stand inside a hurrican simulator!  i, too, noticed a HURRICANE SIMULATOR in the mall today.  whatever happened to gum ball machines?
• also made the GIANT MISTAKE of going to lowe's to find my dad a christmas present.  usually, i wouldn't consider going to lowe's a mistake, but this time i went without any idea of what to buy him, so i strolled down every aisle and even the garden center looking for a present for my dad before i got overwhelmed and peaced.

moral of the story: avoid harbison at all costs.  and if a lady motions at you to get off your phone, smile, lay it aside, and consider how many other numerous weirdos exist on our planet :).

pop-isms

i drove to greenville today to spend some time with my paternal grandfather, pop. he isn't much of a talker (and never has been), but when he does speak up, he always provides a laugh - without meaning to and without realizing it. today was no exception. here are a few of the conversations he and i had:

tv addict
- pop: thanks for driving me to the doctor, ashton. i hate having to depend on people like this, but my vision's just so bad. half the time i see double, and half the time everything's blurry.
- ash: oh, i don't mind. i'm glad to spend some time with you.
- p: well, i'm just glad i'm not a tv addict.
- a: sir?
- p: i'm glad i'm not a tv addict. 'cuz with my eyes like they are, i can hardly watch tv anymore. if i was a tv addict, i don't know what i'd do.
- a: oh, i'm sorry. well, are you still able to read? i know you love to read.
- p: oh, yeah! whenever i read, everything's just as plain as day. it's just that tv that gives me problems. yep, i'm glad i'm not a tv addict.
(later... at his apartment)
- p: you want to watch tv? you have anything you watch in the afternoons?
- a: oh, i don't care. is there something you want to watch?
- p: awww, nah. i don't watch tv hardly ever, especially not in the afternoons. here, you take the remote and find something you like.
- a: okay, well, let's just see what's on.
(tv comes on)
- p: do you watch ellen? it's three. ellen's on. you want to watch ellen?
- a: sure, that'd be fine with me.
- p: you watch oprah? she's on next. at four. we can watch her too.

big rooms
- p: you see that building right there?
(he points to the new surgical hospital)
- a: yes sir.
- p: that's the new branch of the hospital. it sure is nice. they've got these nice big rooms and actually enough staff to take care of the patients. that's where i wanted them to send me. but they didn't give me a choice. they just sent me over to that old place across town. i asked susan [his daughter] if we could just tell them i might need surgery so i could get in, but she said we weren't allowed to do that. i don't know why i couldn't stay there. mary [his sister-in-law] got to stay there.
- a: well, i think she needed surgery.
- p: yeah, i just like those big rooms. i still don't see why i couldn't have one of those big rooms. it sure is nice there.

water
- p: you want something to drink? all i have to offer you is gatorade or water.
- a: oh, i'd love some water. that's all i drink, so water'd be great.
- p: yeah, those doctors are always telling me to drink more water. but i don't want to.
- a: well, pop, water's good for you.
- p: yeah, but it goes right through me. i drink a glass and i'm running to the bathroom. there's no sense in that.
(pause... he fixes himself a glass of water)
- p: cold water chills my insides. so what am i supposed to do?
(pause)
- p: i hate water. period.

and my personal favorite...

politicians
(silence... we've been sitting in the car for about two minutes without speaking)
- p: i just don't know how those politicians do it.
- a: do what, pop?
- p: talk all the time. they stand up there and give those hour long speeches. i'm hoarse just from talking to you.

well, blogfans, there you have it: the inner-workings of my 79 year old grandfather's mind. :)

ghost hunting or house hunting?

seeing as it is christmas break, i am using my time to rest and catch up on some quality reading and television.  i'm not usually much of a tv fan, but a few shows have caught my interest recently, especially sing off.  what a great tv show!  i, personally, am rooting for the beezlebubs.

i'm also catching up on a few classics, namely cake boss, say yes to the dress, and house hunters.  my most recent house hunters exposure proved to be...interesting.  three minutes ago, i was about to call it a night and retire to my cozy bed that has become increasingly appealing after a semester of dorm sleep.  that is, until i saw a teaser i will never forget.

the teaser went a little something like this:
"next on house hunters, this newlywed couple discovers an older, spacious house within their price range.
"'realtor: the local village built this home.  this house was originally intended as a family home, but it also served as the community's funeral parlor.' "

yup, i've seen house hunters las vegas, even house hunters international...but just when i thought i had seen it all...i see house hunters FUNERAL HOME edition? 

if you are as curious about this home as i was, take in a few of the house's details:

• 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath
  
• the house is located in a town just outside of madison, wisconsin called black earth (ironic??)
  
• the house's large living area, which has crown molding and wood floors, once served as the gathering space for "small gatherings" aka FUNERALS
  
•  the family room was once used as an embodiment room
  
• the house includes a CASKET ELEVATOR, still functioning, fyi, inside the second bathroom

so thanks house hunters, because just as i was finally about to get a night of shut-eye after a long day of lunch dates, shopping, and watching sing off, you caused me to lose a good half-hour's rest. (that figure doesn't even include the multiple night spooks which will inevitably result from the needless inclusion of this house on what was once my favorite show.)

the one redemptive factor in this segment: the newlywed couple didn't choose the funeral parlor.  they actually chose another ranch in black earth instead...a testament that though television programming isn't superb, HGTV hasn't lost all its marbles yet.

oh, golly, moses!

as you may already know, i thoroughly enjoy living with amanda. she's an awesome roommate and an even better friend. readers, since you don't have the privilege of spending as much time with amanda as i do, i thought i'd share a sampling of her latest quips:

"oh, golly, moses! (pause) what? is that weird? my grandma says it all the time."

"isn't all hunting the same?"

"i wish we had won the odor balls because our room stinks!"

"want to go see if our tracks are still there from where we drove into the creek?"

"are we roommates? just wondering because i never see you."

"studying with your boy will shakespeare."

"i locked our door so no one would steal our christmas tree."

"okay, so i'm bored already." (about five minutes into the basketball game)

"ash, you look so pretty. this is a good day for us!"

"i look like a boy! should i put earrings in?"

"ash, has anyone ever told you that you'd make a great boy?"

oops... it's exam week

sometimes, i forget things. important things. like the fact that i had an exam. oh, yes, it's true. read on for the full story...

so, being a somewhat uninterested student, i don't really pay that much attention to my school work. however, come exam week, i usually know when or if i have exams. i may choose not to study for them, but i at least know when to show up. this semester has been one of exceptionally little school work for me. taking only 12 hours and 9 of them in the physical education department, i've been doing pretty much nothing for the last 4 months.

only one of my classes, basic wellness, had an exam listed on the syllabus. easy enough, right? well, about 2 weeks ago, my professor offered to let us take the exam a week early. i was all for this idea because it would allow me to spend all of exam week distracting my friends from studying and reminding them that i had nothing to study for. so i immediately began spreading the word that i had no exams... just to make sure everyone knew. :) however, last week, my professor informed us that she was no longer allowing us to take our exam early and that we must take it during exam week. i'm not really sure if i blocked this from my memory because it was such devastating information or if i just never let it sink in, but whatever the case, i clearly did not retain this important announcement.

i have spent the last three days playing: i have slept, watched tv, spent the night with friends, had a job interview, gone to a tacky christmas sweater party, distracted my friends from studying, played basketball, talked on the phone, etc. this morning i woke up at 10:30 (very lucky considering i didn't set an alarm and intended to sleep most of the day), and after laying in my bed in a comatose state for about 30 minutes, i suddenly had a realization. i have an exam at 2:00 today. so, blogfans, what did i do? you guessed it - shrugged my shoulders and rolled over for another few hours of sleep.

JUST KIDDING! i was tempted to do just that, but instead i took out my study guide, spent about an hour looking up some answers about cardiorespiratory endurance, flexibility, and addiction, took a shower, and went to the exam basically unprepared and completely unworried. and with good reason... the exam took about 20 minutes to complete, and i'm pretty sure my 9 year old cousin could have correctly answered the majority of the questions. what's a college education for, right?!

anyway, i'm thankful to have that exam behind me and glad to return to my safe, happy, little world of no school work and all play. don't worry, pc-ers, i'll be visiting you sometime this week to distract you from your studies. i like to think of myself as a breath of fresh air in the midst of the smog of gross income, the civil war, vectors, and shakespeare (or whatever it is that you people study).

ALL-NIGHTER

Appearantly PC's unofficial declaration of "dead week" is indeed a false statement.  This week, our last week of classes, is supposed to be free of tests, papers, and assignments.  Instead of dreaming right now, I am in the library, where I will be for oh...the next 8 hours, at least.  Yes, it's true.  I'm pulling my first college all-nighter.  Updates to follow...I can only imagine how good the posts will be at 5 am.

1:32 AM: John Solms tells Ashton she has soft hands.

1:37 AM: I just stubbed my toe while sitting down.

2:02 AM: Brittni just punched me.  (It's ok brittni you're forgiven). No worries: I thumped her head really  hard back.  ALSO: done with holocaust paper.  Going to buy a drink in a few minutes.  About to try to get a total of 3 pages in German.  This will be a challenge.

2:28 AM: Why is it that when I'm typing a German paper I can't even notice the typos?  Oh yeah...because I hardly know German at all.  Period.

2:59 AM: 1.5/5 pages in German.  It's looking impossible.

3:39 AM: Considering dropping German on the Internet next semester.  A minor isn't worth this pain... 2 pages done in German.  Calling it quits for the day.  About to head over to the drawing room.

5:30 AM: there is charcoal all over my hands.  I drew 1 pastiche (copy of a famous person's drawing) of a Van Gogh city garden landscape, I sketched 1 cute dress, and drew 1 abstract piece I am going to title "grace."  the theme of my project is "my favorite things" ... yeah...like the song.  maybe some pics can go up later.  can't decide whether or not to go to the library and knock out some germ or take a shower and a power nap now...

6:37 PM...thursday: two naps later, don't feel quite as bad as I could.  The worst hour was between 8 and 9.  Slept so hard that I could have been unconscious.  Art professor told me my drawing was ominous and creepy.  Don't know what that means exactly.  German up to my eyeballs.  Shakespeare objective exam tomorrow.  So glad my life doesn't depend on this.  Praying for God to give me rest even as I'm studying.

11:57 PM...thursday: how does it feel to ring in another sleepless night?  what a vast question.  currently there is some entertainment in the library.  our friends paul and james are taking pictures in christmas sweaters with everyone in the library...even people they don't know!2 more pages left in german, already done studying for shakespeare.  then it'll be a wrap!  PTL

Here's a picture of james and paul with a lady who works in the library.  check out even more pictures on facebook!

goal

friends, amanda and i have set a goal of having 20 blog followers by christmas. if you are reading this, give us a little early christmas present and become a follower. :)