inspired by my roomie, decided to make a list of things i am thankful for:
blogfans, what an eventful two hours ash and i have just spent.
we had this thing called prayer tonight at 9. ash and i hang out almost every sunday before or after this time. today, we decided to go for a little adventure...aka a ride through clinton and surrounding areas. sound harmless? you just wait.
the beginning of the adventure starts as we load up with some cherry limeades (light ice) and tater tots from sonic, drive to laurens and find the cutest airport ever. who even knew there was an airport near pc? we pass several other factories, including one named anderson (anderson what? i'm still at a loss for the rest of the name of this place, but at least it provided some amusement). we also pass the sterilite factory and hickory hills barbeque, a delicassy in these parts.
we start talking about something really interesting and continued our voyage through clinton. passing pc again, i decid to take a left before whiteford's (another restaurant famous for burgers and old people). noticing some cute houses and swings, ash and i continu chatting until all i feel beneath my car wheels is muddy goo and all i see ahead of my windshield is scary, large branches.
"stop, amanda, stop, stop, we're in the grass, stop, stop, stop," i hear ashton yell.
i'm pressing the brakes all the way and the car just keeps on going and going and then i press really hard and it finally stops. yes friends, i steered us straight into a dead-end ditch. and not just a ditch, mind you, but what i soon learn is a creek!
so then i very quickly put the car in reverse and rev up the engine. yup, you guessed it, all we got was spinning wheels. very loud spinning wheels. very loud and obnoxious and hopeless spinning wheels.
so what next? ashton decides we need boys to help. she calls brinck (who was about to enter into a deep slumber). i give him directions to our current dead end location and we wait. for about 15 minutes, i start to freak out. when i say freak out, i mean i'm pretty anxious but not yet at tears. so here's the dialogue that ensues after 5 minutes of pure, hysterical laughter, no words:
Ashton: "ok, ok, it's ok."
Amanda: "no, no, no, no. I AM SO STUPID!!!"
Ashton: "what are you worried about??"
Amanda: "that my car is messed up, that this ditch is messed up, that my parents will be mad, that my friends will consider me a liability, that i will never finish my take-home german test that was due a month ago, that we'll get dirty..."
Ashton: "ok...well i promise you we won't get dirty"
Amanda: "please pray. just pray ashton AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Ashton: "god, thank you for being sovereign even over this moment. and for planning for us to end up in a ditch. and for cherry limeades from sonic. and for keeping us safe, even right now. and for guy friends who are willing to get out of bed to pull us out of the mud. amen"
Amanda: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ashton: what's wrong?
Amanda: MY LIFE IS A JOKE
right now i'd classify this occurance as a bigger deal than when my car got towed in greenville but less of a deal than say the time i almost slid down a mountain into a rock quarry.
conversation continues. we wait a really long time. i give the wrong directions, appearantly, but brinck and travis (an experienced firefighter, mind you) finally find us. it is during this time that the boys inform us that not only are we stuck in mud, but we are stuck in mud only inches away from a creek. thankful again for our lives, we get out of the car (althought we do get a little dirty...one compromise i'll make for my own stupidity). the boys put a long string/rope from their jeep to my poor baby stuck in this hellacious mud pit, they press the gas on the jeep a lot, a lot of noise happens, and low and behold, my car is magically returned to concrete!
problem solved! except for one last unanswerable question.
"so amanda, how exactly did you end up in that ditch," brinck asks.
my reply--there was no dead end sign. and it was dark, a little rainy, so of course my brights are off.
after the boys peace out, ashton drives my car to the end of the road when we notice the boys stopped beside the stop sign. we both wonder what else this night could possibly entail. i roll down my window, they point to the stop sign, and underneath that red familiar octagon lies a yellow diamond square that reads "dead end."
i am humiliated. God is good. the boys will receive brownies and chocolate milk tomorrow.
and that my friends, is the story of how we got ditched...
attention, readers: as you may have heard, the average college student participates in his or her fair share of drinking games. tonight, i joined the mass collegiate population and engaged in a game involving drinking. however, my game was slightly different in that it involved consuming gigantic amounts of milk, not alcohol.
the gallon challenge is a competition in which the participants attempt to consume an entire gallon of whole milk within an hour. if able to actually consume all the milk, the second part of the competition incorporates holding the milk in one's stomach for another complete hour.
although i have heard many a boy complain about this gallon challenge and his miserable failure in the attempt to successfully complete it, i never actually believed that it could be that difficult. but tonight i discovered just how treacherous this challenge is. after consuming about 3/4 a gallon of milk in about 40 minutes and watching 2 boys puke up all the milk they had consumed, i threw in the towel as i puked over the side of the second floor balcony of my friend's room. a little later, the other 2 boys competing in the challenge ended up puking as well.
a small confession: tonight was the first time i have thrown up since i was about 9 years old. i actually forgot how to throw up and kept my mouth closed so that i ended up with a mouth full of milk puke. and here's the real confession: i wanted to win so badly that i actually contemplated swallowing the puke back down. it only took about 30 seconds to realize what a terrible plan that was.
moral: i'm glad i participated. i always love to do things that boys don't expect girls to be willing to do. however, i think i might stay away from milk for a while. for some reason, i just don't seem to have a craving for it...
there are two terms necessary to understanding me and ash's current state of singleness. oh, blog fans, a few quick definitions before this post begins:
BJC- acronym for the "Bridgette Jones Club". based on the movie Bridgette Jones' Diary, the BJC is a club that celebrates singleness and the life of women without men.
CNBC- acronym for the "Christian NoteBook Club". based on the movie The Notebook, the CNBC is the Christian version of a man who is committed to love all of his lover forever. (note that the CNBC has a few major differences from the NBC. One of them being sexual faithfulness, for example. another being the exclusion of pre- and extra- marital affairs.)
so how do we reconcile the differences between these two equally valuable clubs? and how can we remain members in good standing of both of these clubs simultaneously? is such a feat even possible?
let me speak from personal experience my friends, while one can be an advocate of both the BJC and the CNBC, membership in either or both of these clubs does not define you. i am also learning that my membership status actually doesn't belong to either of these clubs, but instead it belongs to my first lover, my lasting lover: Christ. though it may be easier to claim total allegiance to the BJC or the CNBC, i have to remember that in trusting God to be enough to satisfy me, whether that means for me singleness or not, he will be faithful to his promises.
so, as promised, this post is an update regarding amanda's and my double date. it was a fun night consisting of good conversation, yummy food, and well-planned activities. the evening began with dinner at los potreros, or as some of us fondly refer to it: los posteros (don't ask me why). then we went to this adorable little park in laurens and played putt-putt. none of the four of us were really very skilled at this game of miniature golf, but it was amusing to see just how bad we were. also, per my request, the boys humored us by playing on the swings for a good 30 minutes. oh, how i love to swing! (yes, i really am 21 years old.) and then brinck and derek took us to bi-lo to pick out our favorite dessert. we chose ice cream, of course! we took the ice cream back to our room to enjoy and happened to run into our friends, sam and brittni (who were returning from a date as well). we invited them to join us for ice cream and ended the night with a little triple date action. don't worry, dad, we were back by 10. :)
even though this confession may seem ridiculous, in learning how stupid and careless i act at times, God is teaching me that i will never measure up to this perfect, smart, put-together girl i sometimes fool myself into believing i am.
ashton and i just returned from a 2 am run to the wal-mart in laurens. on the 15 minute ride to laurens county's favorite late-night hangout, i remembered how much i need laundry detergent. last week was the first time i've washed clothes in a while; i had almost 4 loads swirling through the washers across the hall for a few hours.
as ash and i are walking down the detergent aisle, i am trying to decide which detergent to purchase. (a small side note: i HATE making decisions. i'm very awful at this process. i have to make a check-list in my mind or really examine pros and cons and, oh...it's a terrible thing for me to have to do!) for some reason, the only detergent we see is downy, so i ask ash where the box detergent is located, thinking, for some strange reason, that this type would somehow be more economical.
so we're strolling down the box aisle, and the incredible diversity of these detergents begins to overwhelm me! there are boxes and containers of detergent, all boasting varying scents and clothe-washing abilities when it hits me: i've been washing my clothes in fabric softener for the past 40 loads.
what does this mean? am i that ditzy? that dumb? that careless? how can i possibly ever take care of myself if i can't even wash a load of clothes correctly? and my clothes--i mean, i guess they're soft now--but have i been stinky since i last bought this stuff, spring semester of my freshman year?
and so yet again, i fail...fail to take care of myself, to be savvy, thoughtful and perfect. even at something as insignificant as a load of laundry, i see my need for a savior. and what a comfort to know that jesus never has dirty laundry.
occasionally, events will occur that are so out of the ordinary they will require us to tag-team a post. one such event has occurred. the following is our cooperative attempt to recreate the event in a way that will allow our readers to fully experience it along with us.
amanda: let's begin on sunday night. i'm running around the building where we have our campus outreach meetings trying to give my good friend mel a wet willy. mid-run, i hear someone calling my name. lo and behold, this person is none other than brinck bowers. so, basically, i consider this calling to be of UTTER significance because my only present goal is to wet mel's inner ear. as i reluctantly forfeit the possiblity of giving the BEST wet willy of all time, i walk over to where brinck is sitting. when i am standing near him, i ask "what's up, brinck?" and then...he gestures me to sit down. in my mind i am trying to understand what is going on. was i being too silly in the building? am i distracting other people's conversations? as my mind switches from fun, silly, crazy to somewhat serious, i hear yet another voice calling my name: ash. not only is ash hollering for me, but she is screaming, "amanda, aren't you going to sit here? your bible and notebook is on the front row!" here comes the dilemma. once brinck notices that ashton notices our conversation, he shrugs everything off, refusing to reveal the secret that was good enough to make me give up the wet willy that would shake the universe. and so i return to the front row...confused and perplexed, but not expecting anything special to arise from the circumstance. afterall, weirdness is the anthem of my life.
fast forward to 1 pm monday. i get out of the most boringnest class ever, theatre history, and walk past some boys on the way back to the dorm. brinck is among them, so naturally i ask him what exactly it is that was so important the night before to tell me. a puzzled look crosses his face, he waits a few moments, and just tells me that he wanted to give me a wet willy. so i accept the answer, and continue with my day...
ashton: up until this point in the story, amanda and i can only assume that i, too, am somehow involved in this baffling series of correspondence. indeed, our suspicions are confirmed when i receive a text from the infamous brinck at approximately 4:16 pm on monday. it reads: "hey can you make sure you and amanda are in the room at 12:30 tomorrow if not let us know." i think why would brinck want us to be in our room together tomorrow? wait, who is "us"? and how many of "us" are there? obviously, these are questions that must remain unanswered for the time being. through consulting with amanda, we decide that although we both love to skip class, this mysterious potential encounter is probably not skip worthy, and so we lamentably text brinck to inform him that 12:30 will not work for us. after a series of texts in which brinck continues to offer up times, and we continue to say those times will not work for us, we end up making no decisions at all. so amanda and i go to the library to work on papers and continue to ponder on this unfolding mystery. let's fast forward to tuesday morning. brinck again texts me about working out a time, and after some negotiation, i think we have chosen 2:45 as the moment of truth. however...
amanda: so like ashton said, it's tuesday. tuesdays are the days at PC where girls in sororities wear "pin attire" to be dressed for chapter meetings in the evenings. pin attire deserves a post to itself, so be on the lookout readers, because one is on its way. i have a little break between my class at 10 and 12, so i'm doing one of my favorite things...laying in bed. about 11.18 am i hear a boisterous knock on the door. i'm laying in bed, in a dress, so i figure whoever's it is can just let themselves in if it's really that important. i tell them to come in, but all i get is more knocking. finally i get out of bed (ugh!!), tie the back of my dress, and open the door. and this is when the story gets good: i see not only brinck outside our door, but one of our other friends derek as well. the boys inquire about ashton's whereabouts when they discover she is no where to be found. i tell them that i think she is in the writing center, but i'm not entirely positive. they look at each other, look at me again, look at each other again, and then in his brinck voice brinck exclaims "Worst plan ever!" i close the door, they peace out.
ashton: as amanda conjectured, i am indeed working in the writing center during the time of the boys' untimely visit. so i have a break between my tutoring sessions and casually check my phone, only to realize that i have 4 new text messages. for some of you, that may not seem like a lot in 30 minutes, but for me... that's like a day's worth of texts all at the same time. imagine my excitement and astonishment at this discovery. two of these texts are from brinck regarding the fact that 2:45 will no longer work and that he would like now to be the meeting time. one of the texts is from my friend amy (who i informed about the mystery earlier in the day) to say that she ran into brinck and asked him what he was planning, and his reponse was, "we just want them to be surprised!" and the last text is from amanda informing me that brinck and derek just showed up at our door. after several more texts back and forth with brinck, it is finally decided that we will meet up after the campus outreach meeting.
amanda: so we return to smyth and a few minutes later, we hear yet another knock on the door. expecting the two same culprits who exercised that same knock earlier, the door opens to reveal brinck all alone. he tells us that derek isn't responding to any texts, so he is just going to do what the two of them were going to do by himself. i hope that this next part translates well into words, friends, because it is hilarity! brinck continues to do the following, pretending to be derek. acting as himself, he asks, "Will," then moving a few feet to the side and pretending to be derek, he says "you," then he walks back to his former stance and says, "go,"...ok the funniness ensues to him asking us to go on a double date with he and derek. we laugh, a lot, and then work out a few details about the double dateage. brinck hangs out for a few minutes, he leaves, we go to bed, go on with our lives...
And in t-minus one hour and 32 minutes, we'll be on our double date! Look out for an update post soon :).
A cool and somewhat obscure past Ashton and I share: a history of working for the world's largest fast-food chain--McDonalds! Yup, both of us spent this past summer working at different McDonalds in the Southeast's Mecca of all tourist attractions: Myrtle Beach. Speaking from experience, I think I am about as knowledgeable about the eating habits of travelers from across America as one could be! For example, a Canadian once asked me if we had any berry sauce for our chicken nuggets! If only you could have heard his reaction when I explained to him through the drive-through speaker that no such dipping sauce existed. But let's be real, friends, though McDonalds does sometimes get a bad rep, it isn't such an awful place to work. My hatred of the job during first few weeks of ruining people's lives (aka giving them a Double Cheeseburger instead of a McDouble) evolved into a sort of endearing tenderness towards the restaurant! I now even visit the McDonalds in Clinton instead of hitting up Sonic. Not to mention, I and a few of the girls I worked with stashed up on those Beanie Baby happy meal toys. Let's just say if I ever have children they won't be aching for those precious little stuffed delights. :)
just when we thought our lives were the weirdest, we found out tonight on the news that a lady in greenville woke up to a cow in her pool the other day. more details to come.
UPDATE: you can view reports of this insane incident at http://www2.wspa.com/spa/news/local/article/cow_rescued_from_anderson_county_swimming_pool/29840/. i encourage you all to investigate this strange occurrence.
a few weeks ago, at approximately 7:57 am on a sunday morning, amanda and i were sound asleep in our cozy beds, dreaming sweet dreams of frolicking through fields of flowers. (okay, honestly, amanda probably was having just such a dream, but let's be serious... i was most likely dreaming about some sporting event or the world's largest steak or something.)
anyway, we were aroused by the sound of someone pounding very loudly against a window... our window! in our half-asleep stupor, it took us a minute to realize exactly what was happening. as we were shaking the sleep from our eyes, we heard the following phrases being screamed by two male voices: carson*! get your drunk @$$ out of bed! we have to go to clean-up! (if you aren't a PC student, or maybe just have been away from the college life for a while, clean-up is what fraternity pledges do on sunday mornings - they report to their fraternity house and clean up whatever mess is left behind from the previous nights' partying.)
as we were trying to deduce who carson was and why anyone would think he was in our room, we realized that our window was being opened from the outside by the males to which the screaming voices belonged. and then amanda (whose bed is located right next to the window) came nose to nose with one of the screamers. and, in the most polite, calm voice she has ever used, she said, "he is not here. (pause.) please leave."
and leave they did. but not without first closing our window back (how thoughtful, right?!), beating around in the bushes, yelling more obscenities, actually coming inside the building (what a revolutionary idea, i might add), and eventually finding drunk @$$, also known as carson.
although amanda and i were tempted to report the pledges to their fraternity president and demand a hand-written apology as well as flowers personally delivered to our door, we decided to let the incident slide. i must confess that although it was inconvenient at the time, we have incurred immense pleasure from telling this story over and over again.
in order to ensure that this type of incident does not occur again, we have decided to hang a sign on our window that reads, "boys do not sleep here. they rarely even visit." :)
last, but not least, as all good stories do, this story has a moral: drunk people are very, very stupid.
*names have been changed to conceal identities
